I figure it's a little harsh to cry about how "nobody understands me" when in fact, I've never explicitly told anyone about me. I mean, I think I give away a lot during daily conversation, but maybe that's an unfair assumption. So here, I'm going to post my soul on to the internet, so that I can remain optimistic that somewhere out there in the world, someone reading this in front of a glowing screen in their basement will "get me".
Alright. My name is Vane. I'm currently 18. I attend a public school which I think is shabby in comparison to any private school in this state, but the fact that my current maths teacher is my most favorite person ever makes up for it. I like making stupid jokes. Some are funnier than others, but all are, without exception, sexual or offensive, most of the time both. I can be obnoxious and loud, but I crash to a low before I can be obnoxious and loud for long enough. I'm extremely moody. Despite that, I rarely lose my temper at someone. I have no idea why I'm so moody, though I have found a correlation between my sugar intake and how hyper I am. How long I stay on that high appears to be related to the company I'm with.
I like music--- mostly what people regard as "trashy pop" or "generic pop". Though in my opinion, they're popular for a reason. I mostly listen to Chinese music, then Japanese, English and Korean. I can play the flute, just not very well. I like watching anime, though after watching Code Geass nothing's been as good. I also don't watch enough anime/read enough manga to consider myself as a hardcore fan, though I will admit that I like it.
I read--- a lot. I read everything, though of course my favorite genre is fantasy (magic and dragons and shizz). Funnily enough, I don't like Harry Potter *gasp*. I actually don't like reading romance, except I will find a story boring if there is no romance element involved (how strange). My favorite novel of all time is The Great Gatsby (what, too classy?), while my favorite movie of all time is Pride and Prejudice- the one with Kiera Knightley in it, whichever version that was. I am willing to experiment with what I read, but I will give up if I can't turn beyond the first chapter. I read things ranging from classic literature (due to my literature class) to shitty modern fiction (Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey etc.).
And it is my expert opinion that Christian Grey is sooo much hotter than Edward Cullen
I draw. Not too well, but well enough to entertain myself. Mostly anime characters, sometimes I will sketch a real life object or doodle some cartoony thing in the corner of my book. My favorite kind of art is traditional Chinese landscape (with mountains and water and stuff), and I can do a bit of that myself. I wish I knew proper Chinese calligraphy. I like color--- but I'm far too lazy to add color onto anything myself. I'm rarely in the mood to pack up after myself, after all. Recently I'm trying to learn to sketch people--- like, actual portraits. I'm making good progress. My biggest fault is that I like to show off my art (mostly on facebook), and then I want to kill myself two days later when I realise what I drew is a piece of crap (never post your shit on facebook, kids).
Hmm...what else do I do? Games--- I play a fair bit. RPGs--- anything with swords and magic. Then the rest of my life consists of school. I take two lines of maths (that means 2 hours of maths everyday, then another 4 hours of homework). Not that I ever do the homework. It sort of gets carried forward into the future indefinitely, until I figure out I have to do roughly 72 hours of homework in two weeks if I don't want to fail my test. Honestly, I don't like maths that much. I only like maths because of my maths teacher. “爱屋及乌”--- it's a proverb literally meaning "liking the crow (which nests on the house) due to liking the house" I know it sounds kind of insane, putting myself through that crapload of maths because of one person--- but the list of things I do because of my maths teacher goes on and on. I'll go into that some other day.
Oh...I write. I write a lot (look at the length of this post). At least it seems you don't mind reading (congratulations on having more patience than 60% of the general population). I blog, I write essays for my assignments, I write lyrics to songs which don't exist yet, I write my own novel (or rather, paragraphs of several different novels), I write fan-fiction, and I write poetry (super classy). I like poetry which rhymes, though there are great poems which don't rhyme. It's just that I think poetry is meant to sound nice... like, when I hear the words I'm meant to think "this sounds nice", and if they don't rhyme poems generally lose their magic.
Poetry is everything that is beautiful
I'd like to become more refined in the future. Though I keep on saying how I'm perfect yadayada, I'm not actually that deluded. I want to learn how to be rational and sympathetic at the same time (so far I can only achieve the first), and I really want to be more elegant and sophisticated and witty and clever. I don't mean I want to pretend that I'm aristocratic or something, I want it to become second nature. Remember how I said after a while people realise I'm kind of an asshole? I'd like to keep the truth to myself for... perhaps a bit longer, so I don't scare people away. Not that it's actually a large problem, except as you know recently I developed the biggest crush on someone, except they didn't appreciate it. I figure it's probably because I exposed myself (no, not in that way, you dirty minded ******) too early, otherwise I'd have a date by now.
Yeah, I guess the biggest thing which marks me for who I am right now is my current romantic interest. My sadly unrequited love is driving me insane. Yeah, it's been two weeks (which is nothing compared to all these other losers who apparently like the same person I do), but I know I like this person more than anyone else I've previously liked because I've bothered to shout a confession in the middle of town. I've always had the mindset that "if I'm too shy to tell them I like them, I obviously don't like them enough". Now I know it kind of sounds like a bad excuse to avoid any kind of rejection, but I know it's true for me, because I'm the kind of person who will do anything to get what they want if they want it bad enough. I guess it's good for the world that I rarely want anything that badly.
Though it must be rather unfortunate for this particular person who I'm interested in. Oh well.
Well, I think that's enough of "me" for one night, though I doubt anyone can ever get tired of hearing me rant. At least I'm interesting--- and before you deny it, remember that you have read this far (and the length of this post is like, half an essay). Now I can go to sleep with the satisfaction of knowing that random people over the internet will know me for the person I am (at least I've left my footprint somewhere on this world).
Isn't that horribly romantic?
Good night, guys.
P.S. I play cards. Mostly variations of bridge. My friend calls me a "card counting bitch", though he doesn't know that I get confused with 2 decks, and will completely lose it with 3.
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