Bittersweet

I think that is how I will describe how I feel--- bittersweet. The taste of freedom is overwhelming--- though at the same time, so are my parents. The end of school means nothing. Less work, yes. Less stress? Hell no. I feel myself lapsing into that angry pissy mood I only feel when I have 5 pieces of assessment in the same week. I guess that's equivalent to having a bad time around parents.

Look, that argument about what to wear to med interviews occurred, like I had anticipated. My mother brought clothes into my room, I told her I didn't like them, she forced me to try it on, and by force I mean she literally screamed in my face. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THEY DON'T LOOK GOOD WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN WORN THEM". Because I have eyes, for starters.

Pretty eyes, for that matter.

Though I will not claim to be a fashion expert, I can confidently say that I know what I like and dislike wearing. Actually, that doesn't even have anything to do with fashion. If I wear something I don't want to wear, my mood changes so drastically, I don't think it would matter what I looked like. I will become the embodiment of "I hate every person in this world, myself included."

Anyway, my mother stormed out of my room, making her disapproval of me quite blatant. I can only shrug it off. I don't think she has a right to be angry. I know she brought those clothes over hoping that I'd find them appealing, thus wearing them to my interview. I don't. I hate how her mind works--- when we, after much compromise, find an item of clothing that we can both tolerate, she will change her mind in about a month. All because I start wearing it regularly. It then becomes ugly, inappropriate, dull--- never mind the fact that she's the one who first proposed it. Then anything I reject will immediately become very pleasing, and will look fantastic on me for no apparent reason.

Heh, she's like a difficult child, isn't she? Getting angry when she can't have her way, not giving a shit about how I think.

...And how old I must feel, comparing my own mother's behavior to that of a difficult child. When I put it into that perspective, I guess I have no reason to be angry at her. Anger only fuels more anger. I think it's about time I learnt, to not be ragey. It's not productive in any way, and I don't even feel better in the end.

You know what's been great though? Drawing. Ah, did I ever tell you that I draw? I must have. And I think most of you reading this would know anyway. Post-exam, all I've done is play games and draw. I created a Tumblr account, which I did not dare create when I still had school. Now I'm free to do what I want.

Actually, I have TWO Tumblr accounts. One is my personal one, the other is co-authored with my wonderful and amazingly talented friend. Not we have much on there, since I created it like...yesterday.

My personal one: http://vanelikestodraw.tumblr.com/
The one shared with my awesome friend: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/serotoninandvipers

Here you go, if you're curious. I think it will be quite cool, when we have enough things to put up there. Don't laugh, I'm a noob with photoshop, and I only learnt how to use a scanner app today. I'll get better, I promise.