So you know how a few days ago I was bitching about getting rejected: "WAAAH NOBODY LOVES ME QQ WHY DON'T THEY LOVE ME BACK OMGZ" or something to that effect, and I was a little agitated for a while. Now that I think back to it, I realise, if being rejected by a two-week crush is the worst thing in life, then that's a blessing.
That day where I say I got burnt to shreds because they said "no"... you know what? That wasn't even a burn. There was no real pain felt (because no one cries over getting rejected by their two-week crush), but right now it's like physical pain piled on top of psychological trauma. It just snapped all of a sudden: hey, Dad is way more unlikable than I thought he was.
Comparable to waking up one morning, and having your parents tell you that you're adopted and they've never loved you.
If I could, I'd rewind back two weeks, to that day where I was rejected by that crush of mine. And then I'd be grateful, because they had just set the bar for "how shit life can get". And it wasn't even that bad. One fortnight down the track, Dad smashes the record, and I don't think the record will be beaten in a long, long time, unless someone close to me died or something.
Actually, if I think about it that way, yesterday wasn't that bad. It's not like anyone died, after all. I guess nothing in life is that bad, really.
Therefore every shred of pain I am experiencing right now, it must be nothing.
Except my muscles are aching and my head is throbbing and it really, really, really hurts. I think I've caught a cold from staying outside early morning, wearing only a thin layer of clothing.
Argh, I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to sleep. I don't care that it's 8pm. I'M IN PAIN, GODDAMMIT.
...Pain over trivial concerns.
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