Me; Mr Collins

For those of you who had never read Pride and Prejudice (you should, shame on you), Mr Collins is a character who proposes to the protagonist, Lizzy Bennet. He was snobbish and servile at the same time... and overall a rather ridiculous person. He wanted to marry Lizzy because he wanted to marry, not because he wanted her. When he had proposed, he was refused rather curtly, but he would not believe it himself, and continued to suggest that refusal was a way for ladies to display modesty. Later he finally gets the hint that he was actually being refused, so instead he marries Lizzy's best friend, Charlotte.

After a few words  with a couple of my friends... I wonder if I'm not like Mr Collins myself. A friend had remarked that Asian men had the tendency to be chauvinistic, and that they will date a girl simply because she is hot, and not because of anything else. Then I think back to what I said to my brother, when he asked me what I found attractive in the person I liked. I had responded with "perfection". Except nowhere in "perfection" did I include anything about personality, unless you count "a vague sense of humor". Maybe like the "chauvinistic Asian men" my friend had condemned, I just wanted to walk with a trophy on my arm and show off.

Given my personality, that is certainly plausible.

On the 1-10 douche-o-meter, I score... "error, upper limit exceeded"

A couple of minutes ago, I was thinking to myself: huh, wouldn't it be awkward to see that person again, face to face, now that I've been shut down so badly. Then I shrugged it off, thinking that I will continue my pursuits despite their rejection. Like, first time's the worst, right? Maybe after the nth time they'll agree. I cannot deny that the fact that they had rejected me made them seem all the more attractive. After all, what you can't have is the best.

I can easily delude myself into thinking that their refusal was simply a mix of their bashful nature and careful modesty. Sure, I was a little overbearing--- but I'm fantastic! Why would they seriously reject me? It's obviously a ploy of them playing hard-to-get.

Now I'm disgusted with myself for thinking exactly like Mr. Collins did when Lizzy had, in all seriousness, turned him down. I should know better. I mean, I wish they were playing hard-to-get, but that's impossible. So maybe I'm not as stupid as him after all... though the striking similarity between him and I disturb me a little.

Nah, I'll accept the rejection that I see, because I'm not half-blind. Never giving up is one thing, but being a pain in the ass is another. Not that I've magically stopped liking that person after that episode, but it's probably time to back off (and I say that so many times, pretending that I actually will do what I say I will),

Though some part of me wishes that I were Mr. Collins. After all, my dear Charlotte would be ready to receive my attentions and inflate my ego. Heh, I'm kidding (but it would actually be so nice).