Me; Anti-socialist

I don't know why I agreed to go to the Asian BBQ today. It seems I've become much more obliging lately. I should've known that I'd have a bad time. Someone told me that I regret going to events because I don't try hard enough to have fun--- but when the only friends you have at an event decide to sit down and talk about DotA endlessly, I don't see how I can have fun. I guess the only problem is that I don't play DotA. Now people are gonna be like OMFG HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A GAMER IF YOU DON'T PLAY DOTA or something like that. Well uh... I don't see how there's a correlation between identifying as a gamer and playing DotA?

Though there's probably a correlation between being Asian and being good at DotA

I wouldn't like to admit that I'm a generally socially awkward person. I don't... actually see myself that way. I mean, from the looks of it, I have plenty of friends, I'm capable of making plenty of new friends, and I'd say that I'm generally okay. The bad side of me only comes out after I've known people for a while, but I assume by the time they realise I'm kind of an asshole they decide it's too awkward to break up the friendship. So generally I'd say I was alright. Except I'm like the biggest party pooper ever. 9/10 parties I attend I will sit in some corner by myself, plug in earphones and start playing on my phone.

It's not like I know nobody there (because then I wouldn't go to the party). It's not like I dislike the people there (they're all my friends). It's just that I don't find anything exciting. And I don't even see it as my fault. I'm not difficult to amuse--- the world is just too boring to suit my tastes. My friends divide nicely into two groups: male and female. All the males can talk about is DotA. DotA DotA DotA. Fuck DotA.

Then you've got the girls. Now girls are wonderful. They're young, they're pretty, they're bright and everything else lovely. Except their conversations are a little bit too classy, and a little bit too girly. I get extremely confused about why a particular actor who I have never heard of is "hot", and why everyone is laughing at this joke which I understand but do not find particularly funny. Wait, we're complimenting someone's outfit now. Oh right, nice skirt. Huh, it's a dress, not a skirt? There's a difference between skirts and dresses now?

From what I understand, whether it be dress or skirt, the shorter the better.

Most parties these days are kinda like, freestyle. Everyone go mingle with whoever you want, because the numbers are so large, and everyone kind of do what you want because it's too hard to organise. I... tend to be the sort to look forward to some activity at a party. At least a game, even if it's a shitty game. I'm so impatient, and I get bored so easily...

This is the part where I say: I should just stay indoors and do my maths. Except I don't actually want to stay indoors. I miss socialising, even though most of the time my efforts end pitifully. Oh, the dilemmas of life.