I want to smash every single dish in the house

So  apparently it was my turn to wash the dishes, right. Okay, whatever, I don't keep count of this kind of crap. That's why I don't announce "HEY GUYS IT'S MY TURN TO WASH THEM DISHES DON'T TOUCH LEAVE IT TO ME". ...I would never say something like that, anyway. Not in my character.

My roommate finishes eating first, so he takes his stuff to the sink. Aaaand he starts washing them. I finish eating next, and since he's got his hand covered with dish-washing liquid I figured he was essentially volunteering to do the dishes, otherwise he could've just left them there for me to wash. I pass him my stuff, and as soon as I do that my mother reminds me, in her annoying screechy voice, "OI IT'S YOUR TURN TO WASH THE DISHES." So I stand there awkwardly. Like, what am I supposed to do, shove my roommate out of the way and say "DON'T TOUCH THOSE THINGS IT'S MY TURN TO WASH THEM"? Actually, that's what Dad did, a while ago. Shoved him out of the way, as he was 1/2 way through washing the dishes, went to my room, dragged me out and told me to do them instead.

Anyway, I grab a wiper and start cleaning the table and benches etc. While I do that my mother continues, "THERE ARE ONLY LIKE 5 PLATES AND YOU DON'T WASH THEM. HOW LAZY ARE YOU" etc. etc. Well, if there are only like, 5 plates, does it really matter who washes them? Goddammit. This is why I hate this house. My roommate is so nice, yes, but this is like the nth time he's tried to be nice to me and it's worked against me. It'd be better if he did nothing at all, but I can't tell him that. That's just... mean.

Stupidass parents and their stupidass obsession with stupidass dishes.