Eh.

School started and school sucks. As soon as I get back to school I realise how I didn't miss it after all. Day 1, and the work falls on me like an avalanche. So glad I dropped English though- despite it being my favorite subject, it was a pain to read for the sake of an exam, and to write for the purpose of achieving higher marks. I've reached that psychological dilemma where I feel as if everything is rather purposeless in life: why the hell are my parents so worked over school... as if my marks define the person I am. If marks were directly proportional to how nice a person you are, I'd be near sainthood. In reality, I'm a bit of a douchebag. Okay, more than a bit. I can admit that.

But seriously. All my parents whine to me these days is about my future career and income... and to be honest I really don't think doctors make that much money, so I don't see why my parents are lamenting over the fact that I failed my med entrance exam. Not like being a doctor was going to make me a billionaire, unless I could run a monopoly on health care and jack up the prices. Then I'd be rich, but then I might as well be the reincarnation of the devil himself.

Oh why are my parents so pitifully middle class? And why am I such a pretentious bastard, to say something like that? Ergh, I guess it gets to you, after a while. If all someone ever talked to you about was money money money and grades grades grades, you'd probably become more and more like me. I feel like I'm Emma Bovary (if you've ever read Madame Bovary). I now desperately crave for something more... I wish I had the money, the financial means to support myself, while I did what I wanted all day long. I could draw, I could write, I could be a psychologist. All the fields which I'm interested in, tend to make shitty income. I suppose if I could get to the top of it pyramid it'd be a different story, but eh, what are the chances. Though I'm somewhat confident of my abilities... I doubt I have the luck. Not that my abilities are that great anyway.

It's such a dilemma, when what you like does not make you any money.  I'm not carefree enough to say "screw the financial burdens! I'm going to live life! Pursue my dreams! Be happy!" In fact, I'm certain that a particular level of financial stability is required for any form of happiness. At least my parents and I agree on that front. Oh, I dread to grow up to be like my parents... become a part of what I currently describe as "pitifully middle-class".

Well, let's hope for miracles.