Self Reflection

Ever wake up one morning, and think to yourself: "hey, I'm kind of an asshole"? Yeah okay, you probably haven't had that. I went through that though. Alright, it wasn't a sudden realization, I always knew. And I never cared. Quite frankly, I still don't care. Except I'm starting to think about it.

So it started when today I decided to skip out on dance class. Heh, no, I don't actually dance. I wish I could, but if I wanted to learn that bad I wouldn't take a dance class at school. The only reason I signed up for dance class was so that they wouldn't move my maths classes around: after all, I only want one particular maths teacher at this school. Remember me complaining about the class allocation system a couple of months ago? Anyway, I signed up for dance so I'd get the right teacher for maths. And as it turns out... I'm screwing over the people who actually want to do dance, because I've taken up their spot in the class. See, I haven't shown up to class since the term started (though admittedly I only had two classes since). Oh and... I refuse to move out of this class until they fail me for lack of attendance.

I REFUSE TO LEAVE

Yeah, that's a pretty big dick-move. But the thing is, my maths class is overly-full, and the teachers can still forcibly move people out of their lines if possible. If I leave dance now, I'm going to get chucked into a shitty maths class on the time slots where I'm currently supposed to do dance. Of course I'm selfish enough to stay in dance- after all, nobody wants the crappy maths teacher on my dance line.

After going through that entire thought process, I walked around for the rest of the day, rather amused, thinking, "huh, I'm a bad person." Then I remembered this friend of mine, who I causally insult all the time- so much that it's become a bit of a habit. So I'd go up to him, and I'd be like, "hey can you help me with chem/maths/whatever", and if he takes more than a minute I'd call him retarded, despite the fact that I'm technically asking for his help. Or I'd ask him to teach me content I'd missed in class, and then it'd turn out that he didn't learn it properly either--- at which point I insult him once again. I wonder why he hasn't punched me in the face yet. Maybe he has masochistic tendencies and likes hearing me insult him (I know you're reading this bro, calm the fuck down. I'm joking, I love you lots and lots etc.)

Here, have a love heart

Then there's that time, not that long ago, where I flipped out on another friend, and admittedly I said the most hurtful things I could and the rudest things I've ever said to anyone. Essentially I had raged at him in a strangely eloquent manner, despite the fact that I was, you know, raging. I don't quite remember what I said, but I remember that it was mean enough. Oh well, I assume (well, more like "hope") he's gotten over it by now.

And roughly 30min ago, I said to my friend who is soon going to America: "I can't imagine you as an American. I mean, how can you possibly get any fatter than you already are now? " Yeah, I guess that was uncalled for. I couldn't help myself.

Heh, why do I even have any friends? I guess my awesomeness just makes me irresistibly attractive.