However the only thing which qualifies as "work" at the moment is my mother's stupid homework. I might've said that she had handed it in a while back--- and I wasn't wrong. Except somehow, she brought it all back, with an extension to the end of the month. I feel violently trolled.
Instead of doing her homework, I decide to procrastinate instead. I'd rather do maths. This is the worst assignment ever. I don't want to be here. Life sucks. I said I wanted to get a job, but my parents are now harassing me to get one. FUCK, I'LL GO AT MY OWN PACE, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Mum wants me to sign up for some agency which finds me work in childcare centres--- fuck childcare centres, fuck childcare in general. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. All because her stupidass bitch of a friend told her that her daughter (same age as me, same school same class etc.) is doing that. Well, WHAT IF I'M NOT HER, AND I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO WORK IN A CHILDCARE CENTRE. Mother insists that I'll be rich afterwards, making $150 per day or whatever--- this type of work is irregular, I'll have to drive myself to whichever childcare centre all over the city, and stay for like an hour or 2. NO, I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT. No matter how clear I make myself, she pretends not to hear and raises the same issue twenty minutes later, stressing how her friend's daughter is doing the same thing yadayada.
Fuck my life.
At dinner time Dad decides to bring up the topic of how I'm wasting my life now that I'm on holidays, and I should totally go out and find a job because I'm on holidays etc. No, because I don't need a break and I can work non-stop for eternity. Then Mum brings up the topic of uni: "now that you've failed to get into med school, what are you going to do with your life". I mentioned how I quite liked IT, then Dad jumps straight to economics and finances, thinking that if I do a double degree in that at uni I'll automatically land myself in a high-paying job, and I'll know everything there is to know about investment and money and I'll be a millionaire. I took a minor in economics. I fucking hated it. It bored me. And you know what? Economics isn't all about money. Money plays a big part, but no, they do not teach you how to become an overnight millionaire by playing stocks in economics, contrary to my father's beliefs. In fact, if being rich was only a single economics degree away, I'm sure the world would be flooded with wannabe economists by now.
I hate people who know nothing about a discipline, but refuse to shut up about it.
Now both my parents are bombarding me with the "what are you going to do with yourself" question, hoping that I'd come up with an answer within this 2 day breaks I've had. They think they're being soooo subtle, bringing up the fact that university is expensive and prices are going up etc. Yeah, I fucking get it. You don't want to pay for my uni fees. OKAY. I'll go find a job or whatever. If I get booted out of the house today, I WOULDN'T DIE.
My parents keep comparing me to the children of their "friends", who were somehow less clever than me in high school, but by college were able to find a scholarship and get themselves into med school. In my mind (as it is the only place I dare to do so), I'd like to compare my parents to the parents of people I know, who literally started with nothing in life and made their way up, and have more than a million dollars in their savings account. Life's not the way you want; I'm not that perfect child every parent dreams of. As for my parents, they are far from the ideal parents I want or would like to have.
And what am I to do? Blood is thicker than water. There is no other way. I'll have to deal with it.
After all, nothing is as bad as it could be.
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