It would appear as if I would have to wake earlier if I want more sunlight. I don't remember when I slept last night, but I do recall that I was very tired and I have little will of doing anything. I've wasted my day watching Game of Thrones and eating a massive bowl of noodles which lasted 3 hours, and it's pretty much going to be breakfast, lunch and dinner in one shot. I'd worry about my health but I no longer feel hungry and when I look in the mirror I still don't look as thin as the pretty actresses in Hollywood so I figure I'll be fine.
Now I've pretty much forgotten what it is that I really wanted to do, because I feel as if my brain has turned to mush. My room is pretty dark but I'm too lazy to turn on the lights. As a result my screen is burning my eyes, and I feel really sleepy, which is bad considering all I've done since waking is eating food, going to the bathroom and watch Game of Thrones.
No, actually, I've also been reading forums posts about a game called Devil Survivor Overclocked, which I'll just call DSO because I'm too lazy to type out the whole thing. It's just a remake of Devil Survivor, but it's got some voice acting, improved graphics and an extended storyline. You know, the usual gist- no significant improvements, but minor advances that would've been appreciated if you've never played the first game. I did love the first game though, but I loved the second game more. So when I saw a poll of DSO vs DS 2, my heavily biased self was just like, "NO, YOU LIARS! DS 2 IS OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR." In retrospect I don't know why I bothered, because let's face it, it's got nothing to do with me.
So now I've sort of plunged into a mood where I want to spend money and shop for things, but I don't really have that much money and there's not much I want to get. I was on eBay and I decided that I wanted a khaki green parka, but then I realised I could just get one when I go to China and not pay as much. One of my greatest hobbies used to be shopping for books and video games: but now I don't have time for either and buying them no longer gives me joy. I do want to just sulk and play games for a couple of hours, but my friends are too busy or too far away to play games with me, and I just feel lonelier if I play on my own.
I suppose I could always turn to work and start preparing for next week's classes--- or you know, catch up on everything I haven't studied. At least that way I'll find plenty of "friends" with common interests. Actually, maybe I will make some decent friends if we could all just sit down in the library and build on each other's knowledge, but when I get time off from school I just want to go home and not do anything. I haven't even been into town yet, which is utterly disappointing, but why bother going into town if you have no one to go with. I've always felt pathetic going into a mall and shopping on my own. Then everything is done out of necessity as opposed to leisure. I hate it.
And so my day drones on, the same as my writing. I feel reluctant to end as I have nothing better to say, and what I have said already is mundane enough. I just feel that if I stop I will return to that state where I start thinking about stupid things, and thinking isn't hard but it's scary if you think too much. Now it's like I'm thinking too much about thinking too much.
Better stop writing, it's distressing watching my thoughts pour into words.
No comments:
Post a Comment