Vanetology

I'm determined to become filthy rich in the near future, and I reckon I've got the right sort of mind to do it. See, when I was at the UMAT, instead of freaking out and stressing like everyone else was, I was thinking this:
Huh, you can only do this test in pencil. That means it'll be something everybody needs. HEY, I COULD TOTALLY SELL PENCILS AT THE DOOR FOR $2 EACH! Holy fuck, I could be rich! Then I realised that everyone else had brought pencils along--- but I could advertise my pencils as lucky pencils or something. I'll use a combination of temptation and threat: "Use lucky pencils, and it will guide you to the correct answer if you haven't got a clue! For every blind guess you make, you'll guess correctly! Don't disadvantage yourself by using a normal pencil--- buy a lucky pencil for the price of $2!"

It was a shame I only thought about it back then. I wish I had gone through with it.

So then I thought: what makes money these days? The answer struck without me thinking too hard: religion. The church is soooo incredibly rich--- like, you wonder where all that money goes: it's not like priests are allowed to blow it on hookers and cocaine. Not that it matters. Scientology was the inspiration. The founder of Scientology obviously realised that there was money in religion.

Then what's stopping me from starting my own religion? I mean, there's no proof for any religion, so I can make this up, can't I? I believe all religions are made up anyway. Thus, ladies and gentleman, I present you with...