I kept on complaining that I had no friends up here at uni, and I could only find joy back in my hometown. That came at the cost of all the drama with my parents, of course, but I was convinced I We had made no friends over my 3 years of tertiary schooling.
I was so wrong.
Ever since getting back here, I've been catching up with various people. We have dinner, we go to class together, we share notes during lectures. That's when I realize... I have friends. I have friends and I didn't count them, because we didn't spend as much time together, because I was convinced they "weren't as cool" so I rejected them wholly. Friendly without being "friends". I was good at that.
Now that everyone is going their separate ways to further their training, I finally realize: I had friends, and if these people left me, I would be missing their company sorely. We didn't always hang out or talk or do fun things together, but the option was always there, and I always had a safety net. If I wanted to hang out, someone would go with me. I took that for granted, because no one had ever turned me down--- and that hasn't changed, but I'm starting to realize it's a terrible thing to take for granted. I just don't appreciate the things I've always had, until I'm about to lose them.
...And that's the definition of privilege, isn't it? Something you don't appreciate when you have, then bitch about when you lose it.
Like all these stories turn out, it's kind of too late to go back in time and get to know people better, or form meaningful bonds. I thought I got over my superiority-complex after performing miserably on every exam here... but maybe I put less value on my academic performance than I previously thought, and here I am...
Well, it may be too late, but I'd still like to express the sentiment. I do like my friends, and they are my friends. I like them very much.
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