Ah I neglected to write again. Alright, so what have I been doing? Nothing, really. Like, actually nothing. I'd sit in front of my computer, stare at it blankly, and alternate between opening and closing tabs. It's a hard life.
I've given up freaking about uni at the moment, because I figure it'll work itself out in the end. That's how it's always been in my life, anyway. Whenever something causes me anxiety, I think to the future, and realize the situation is bearable. Most people get by just fine, right?
I'm still on a quest to discover what it is that I'm really good at- and by that I mean have an innate talent for. I figure I should try my hand at a couple of different things, but then I start feeling lazy. The things I've received recognition for are all school related, but I can't think of anything non-school related that I can do. Maybe I can sign up for a drama class or something, but I've always hated public speaking. Sure, the attention is flattering, but I only gain that sort of confidence after 3 hours of rehearsals.
I know already that I have no great talent for music. I've been better than most, even with minimal practise, but that's me with most things. I thought I might've been good at music until things got serious, and the serious people around me (1 hour rehearsal every day) frightened me with their skill, passion and dedication.
Ah, that's what I've been lacking. Passion and dedication. Skill is something which I feel generally comes with time- but there needs to be a catalyst of some sort to spark my interest in a particular subject. I don't recall feeling particularly passionate about anything, and without that dedication certainly will not exist. My attention span is so short though, and I get bored before I even begin.
Hrm, maybe actively seeking a passion isn't the answer, because hell, I don't know what I want and I don't know what I'm looking for. Well, I figure when I come across it, I'll know.
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