3 Days Ago

3 days ago I had an 8 hour shift at work and it was exhausting. Then I thought it'd be a good idea to sleepover at a friend's house, because I didn't have work for the next 2 days. I didn't account for how tired I'd be- so after eating pizza, when everyone else was watching TV, the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. There was a surplus of alcohol at my friend's place, and because I wasn't feeling particularly happy I thought I'd drink my way out of my misery, like they do in the movies. Uh, it just didn't happen.

I wasn't even close to getting drunk, because the alcohol I drank was super-diluted with soda. Then this other guy who was drinking looked like he was about to die, even though he drank less than I did. Of course I made fun of how red his face went, and how much he perspired. Then he told me to shut up because I didn't drink as much as he did, so I wouldn't know etc, but I swear to God I drank more and he just has a terrible alcohol tolerance. So we argued about that for a bit, and he insisted that he was drunk and I was all "you don't know what being drunk is like". Thinking back I probably shouldn't have argued with him, because he was obviously trying to save face, because everyone knows that how much alcohol you can drink is directly proportional to your penis length or how many testicles you have.

Then I fell asleep while watching TV, by then it was like already 2am. I slept soundly enough, but then my nocturnal host decided to wake me at 6am, by nudging my side with his foot. He had kindly made me breakfast, which consisted of bacon and eggs, but I was suffering a little after sleeping only 4 hours. The 8 hour shift at work, compounded with drinking alcohol did not work out too well. My breath was the smell of a public toilet and that was when I decided I will never ever drink more than 1 standard drink per party ever again. Rinsing my mouth with water did little to help, and only after breakfast did the smell go away a little. I wasn't even hungover, but yeah alcohol is just a terrible thing. I didn't even feel any better while drinking constantly through the night. You could argue that I wasn't drunk enough, but I don't really want to give myself an alcoholic's liver by trying to have fun with alcohol. I believe the sad truth is just that alcohol isn't fun, and that I should just steer away from it, and only have a sip of wine or champagne when I'm trying to look like a classy bastard.

So yeah, that was 3 days ago.