The Familiar Argument

On this bright and lovely morning, yet another argument broke out between Dad and I. More about my bus fares. I think I complained about how he refused to pay for my bus fares to and from school before--- yeah, he hasn't changed. He said that I worked and as such I should pay for my own things- heh, just as well, I'm 18. I guess I didn't really have a reason to fire up at him. Ah, alright, I'm at fault for this one--- but I'm not going to apologize to him now. He doesn't deserve my effort.

I'm so irrationally upset right now that if anyone inquired after my father, I'd tell them he was dead.

"Actually, my father passed away quite a while ago. It was not sudden though, I knew it was going to happen given his condition over the past two years. No, don't be sorry, I do miss him but I've been getting along fine without him."

And is that not the case? Minus the fact that the person I'm biologically related to is actually still alive, my father has well and truly been dead for too long. Would I try to ask a stranger to pay for my bus fares? Ah, no I wouldn't. When I put it in that perspective, I guess I was being retarded. Well, never again. I've learnt. The Dad/father I've been complaining about all this time--- he's not actually my father, is he?

Yeah, I'm in denial. I can't handle reality as it is, but my logical interpretation of events makes so much more sense. Actually, it probably isn't logical. Still, I can accept that much better.

Nobody wants to admit that a/an:

• incompetent
• useless
• selfish
• worthless
• stupid
• shortsighted
• ignorant
• bigoted
• pseudo-intellectual
• arrogant 
• annoying
• socially retarded
• irresponsible

pathetic excuse of a man is their "father". 

I feel much better now- I guess I've been thinking those words in my head for a long time. It's not surprising that when I decide to write it all down, the list becomes quite long. Well, I'm describing a man who invested (and lost, I might add) tens of thousands of dollars in the stock market, thinking that he could become the next Warren Buffett if he just read a few books on how to buy and sell stocks. He never studied anything even vaguely related to stocks--- and he kept playing at stocks for more than 20 years, without knowing what a dividend was. That's right, he only learnt, THIS YEAR, what a fucking dividend was.

Ah, I should stop. I'm less angry now. I shouldn't waste my time and effort insulting strangers on my blog.