What Do

I really need some careers advice. I mean, I know what I want to do, I'm just a little lost as to how I want to get there. My friends are working really hard, trying to get into a really competitive field. I'm working less hard, going into a really cold field, but I'm hoping my passion will make it alright.

Yeah I used the word "passion" and the possessive "my" before it, isn't that amazing. My passion. Declaring that I have passion, after all.

I've moved onto a new rotation. Despite my previous despairing post, I passed my second round of exams with flying colors once again, scoring 18/21, only 1 mark lower than my previous run. I was satisfied, to say the least.

This new rotation though, is a nightmare through and through. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing or where I'm meant to be, and my supervisor is ???? I think I saw him, but I haven't had the opportunity to actually go and introduce myself. Embarrassing, yeah. I wish I wasn't so socially awkward, but I didn't want to stand in his way just to say "hihihi whatup"

The only positive thing I can think of is my new teacher, who happens to have the same name as my favorite maths teacher back in college. Not that I actually call him by his first name, but his surname is kinda cute as well. I don't know if he likes being described as "kinda cute", but I like the way he smiles from his eyes, which is a rarity in the people I've come across recently. I like it when people exude warmth, because it makes me feel safe around them... as opposed to... idk, threatened?

Yeah threatened sounds about right. On most days I feel like some hyper-alert middle-of-the-food-chain animal, that I need to rip someone's throat out before they rip out mine. I wonder if it's the sleep-deprivation that's driving me insane. I honestly think I'd be a completely different person, if I had like, 8-10 hours of a sleep every night.

Maybe I'll figure out what to do if I sleep enough.