Anyway I appreciate his efforts to help, but right now I'm sitting in the lounge, in complete darkness save for the light on my screen. I hope this post will actually save, since I have no internet connection. It's so goddamn awkward, I don't know why the stupid router doesn't reach here. I'd happily BUY a new router for him just so I can use the wifi. I know I made a resolution to play less games and study more and whatever, but not having internet at the moment feels like withdrawing from nicotine- it's just not that easy. Yes I can draw I can read and hell I can even study, but all I can think about is how nice it'd be if I could access the goddamn internet and do--- absolutely nothing.
The house itself is located on a main road- convenient for transport, terrible for low noise levels. Also my room has windows which are bolted shut, and the owner told me he doesn't get along with the neighbors so I should draw my blinds for some privacy. I'd like a bit of light now and again, so it's like, REALLY awkward. But it's like, as long as they're not TRYING to perv on me, it should be fine. And even if they were- well I have a great body so there's not much to be ashamed of- but that's beside the point.
My room right now smells like dust and graveyard. Old. Ancient. Like, I don't even know how to describe it. Basically it smells like decay and I can't stand it. With the windows shut too, it's almost unbearable. It's drizzling outside though, so I don't want to feel cold, but at the same time the stuffiness in here is driving me mad. I've spent like, 7 or 8 hours on the train and coach- near suffocation, so I don't need this shit again.
The coach ride was nice, despite my heavy luggage. I traded seats to sit next to this guy who was kind of cute and I wanted to talk to him but I was way too awkward, then I plugged earphones in to play games and he did the same, so it was too late to start talking then. I think the only thing I said to him was to ask whether he was getting off at the airport, in case I had to get up and let him out. My life is full of wasted opportunity. Well, not like, entirely wasted- but I'm so... half-hearted? Like I had enough balls to trade seats so I could sit next to him- my ulterior motive was clear to anyone who knew me- but then I chickened out and didn't even talk to him. Like, wtf is wrong with me. Then for 3 and a half hours we sat in silence, while I pretended not to care.
The train ride was much worse because it was public and there wasn't a place to store my massive suitcase. I reckon my suitcase weighs at least 30kg- maybe more. I could barely lift it. I shoved it in between seats on the train, effectively taking up the space of 4 people. Then I felt too awkward to take up even more room for myself, so I crammed myself into one of the seats, and then had no room for my legs. I spent the entire trip with my legs elevated, and I could feel like going numb from the lack of bloodflow. That was actually painful. Then there were people yapping about, and I just gave up in the end.
Anyway, that takes me to the house- I can't get over how old this house actually is. You can literally sense its age in the air. I NEED to buy some air freshener. My room mate is supposed to arrive tomorrow, so maybe I'll put off shopping- though I don't know how long I can stand it. I'm such a wuss, with minimal tolerance for almost everything. I just hope nothing gets too bad in here- I think I might be live with the whole "no wifi" ordeal, provided that I just hang out at school all day. Staying at school actually isn't that bad if doing work was what I had in mind. I'm just lamenting the fact that I won't be able to watch or play LoL for quite some time. I'd love to graduate- right about...NOW. I'd like a bit of money. and I'll buy myself a nice, modern apartment with a massive TV, and I'll watch movies on it while falling asleep on an expensive Italian leather couch.
It's nice to dream when you can't connect to the goddamn wifi.
No comments:
Post a Comment