First Day Back

The first day isn't as terrible as it was last year. I think I'm just more resigned to the fact that I'm attending a second-preference school and that it's not so bad up here. We had these boring-ass lectures where it was painful for both the lecturer and the audience, but it's just one of those things that had to be done, otherwise people get mad or whatever. Then we were "warned" (I really mean threatened) once again about posting stuff on social media, and that was thoroughly unpleasant. I think this blog is going to incriminate me some day, so I should probably delete it... eventually. I kind of want to write about what happened, but given the "warning" I'm wondering whether it's just a bad idea to do that now. Basically what I'm saying is, I didn't have a good time.

I bought some really expensive tiger balm at the pharmacy after the lectures- I was really sick of my legs itching due to mosquito bites. God those things are VICIOUS out here. I swear they're all out to get me. So now my leg is burning as if it was on fire, yet somehow that is still preferable to it being itchy. I dealt with the house smelling like dust by buying air freshener- and that's actually improved it quite a bit. I'd leave the windows open but I keep forgetting, and when I get home it's dark and I don't want moths flying in my room- at least now they're only circulating my room mate's lights.

The only thing which hasn't improved are the cockroaches. There was that one I found last night, where I said it was gone by the time I found the bug spray. Well I sprayed this cockroach today, and the bug spray didn't even fucking work. Like I sprayed it and it ran for a couple of meters, and I kept on spraying it until the cockroach was practically white (because I'd covered it in spray), then it ran out the door. Naturally I didn't go chasing after it, but yeah that was kind of an awful experience. Then about an hour later, my room mate finds this massive ass cockroach on her carpet, and I suspect THAT'S the one I saw last night, because it was fucking massive.

All evidence points towards there being a cockroach nest somewhere in this house, and I'm just hoping I don't get infected with something terrible. Even though I don't have a phobia of cockroaches I still don't want to like, touch one. I mean, they are kind of gross...

Still, cockroach, bad smelling house and terrible wifi is STILL not the worst thing. No, the shitty lecture wasn't the worst thing either. The worst thing of all, is how badly I'm missing a particular friend of mine right now. He was someone I really got along with last year- and we lost touch during the holidays because I was busy working and just didn't think of him all too often- then it turned out he wasn't at school today. I thought it was mighty strange, because I wag all my lectures like it doesn't even matter, but HE goes to every single fucking one of them. Even if they're scheduled at totally stupid times, he will show up. Then I checked a list of people in our year--- and he just WASN'T THERE. The only explanation is that he is no longer part of the course, but that makes me feel so bad. I've texted him but he hasn't replied, so now that I WANT to get in touch with him I can't anyway. And it's just all... I don't know. It feels terrible when you expect someone to be there and they've just...practically...disappeared. I really do miss him. 

I just wanted this year to be a better year. I don't think realizing you've lost one of your favorite people on the first day of school is the way to go.