(Un)happy New Year

It's the eve of the Chinese New Year today- or Lunar new year, whatever, if you want to scream "BUT IT'S ALSO CELEBRATED IN JAPAN/KOREA/OTHER ASIAN COUNTRIES WHICH I KNOW NOTHING ELSE ABOUT". But they probably call it Japanese New Year or Korean New Year over there. Meh.

The day was average, because I'd forgotten completely about it. I thought it was just another one of those days where I suffer the 30 degree heat in a house with zero air-conditioning. And I was pretty much right, it was just "another one of those days" until my mom came home. So first she handed me her bag as she got out of her car, so I took it inside for her and sat down. 1min later she's literally yelling at me telling me I'm stupid because god there was all her shopping in the boot and I was so dumb as to not realize. I awkwardly listen to her lecture me about what an ungrateful child I am for not helping her carry the shopping in- mind you, she had JUST gotten out of the car after handing me her handbag. Then she yells "WHY WOULD I GIVE YOU MY HANDBAG IF THERE WASN'T MORE STUFF TO CARRY IN THE CAR. WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE". I told her she was being really mean and to stop yelling, but naturally she only yelled at me some more so I don't know why I bothered.

I could tell she was pissed (I don't know why) so I offered to help her prepare dinner. Then I heard her yelp at every little thing, like when she spilt something or when the water was boiling or whatever. Fuck it was painful. I made up my mind then I would never ever even date someone who yelled when they were surprised or shocked, and I don't think I could even be friends with someone who had a high pitched voice, because it'd probably remind me of my mother and piss me off.

After a mostly silent dinner I went for a walk- and when I came back she yelled at me some more: why don't you fold your clothes, I thought you said you were going to wash your dishes. Look they're pretty normal and motherly things to say, except I just don't appreciate the fact that she yells and calls me stupid at the same time. I kinda...find it insulting, actually.

I hope your New Year is better than mine.

The Wolf of Wall Street

I went out and saw The Wolf of Wall Street today. My friend had hyped it up for me, because he posted a massive facebook status about it, saying how it was so glorious and confronting and whatnot. Anyway, I got really excited, and my expectations were sky-high. Naturally, by the time I actually saw the movie, my expectations came crashing right back down, because fuck that the movie was just like a less intense version of pornography and involved people snorting cocaine and taking a lot of pills.

Like, drugs are bad. I get it, okay. But I don't understand why seeing someone on screen taking drugs 24-7 and fucking his life over is "confronting". It's like, well yeah, welcome to the real world. Yes, people do shit like that. I'm not even remotely surprised. This guy is so rich, what else would he be doing, other than whoring and doping. Those give you like, the ultimate chemical sensations.

Now that the supposed vulgarity of the film had failed me, I searched for something deep and meaningful- and didn't really find any. This wasn't one of those movies which aimed to teach you a moral lesson- I think it was really just a POV from the criminal, and an insight into the life of someone really, really fucking rich. Personally I thought it was really admirable how he managed to scam that much money off people- and how he still manages to be successful after serving a gaol sentence. I mean come on, he wrote a book and someone made an awesome movie out of it, starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

In the end, I think if I were smarter, I probably would've ended up like him. I do have a crazy drive for money these days. Sometimes I do think the thirst of wealth is like some kind of disease- I know my entire family is enslaved by it, and income is all they care about, weighed above everything else. The phrase I hear the most nowadays is "how can you afford happiness if you can't even pay off your electricity bills, or if you don't even have a house to live in?" Harsh words, yeah? So I want to be rich, I want to be rich so I can throw a stack of bills in their fucking faces, and slap them with it. Then I'd shout, "BECAUSE I'M RICH, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I'M NOT A FILTHY WORKING-CLASS SCUM LIKE YOU WHO CHOCKED THEIR OWN DREAMS TO DEATH WITH THEIR NEED FOR MONEY. BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, TO BE ALIVE. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE, BECAUSE I'M FUCKING RICH."

No offense to the general working-class, by the way, before you try to rise up and revolt against me. But if you do genuinely think that money is so fucking important- important enough for you to work like an inefficient robot, important enough that you think it must be the most important thing for everyone else too, and you would go to great fucking extents to make them believe it---- then yeah you are nothing more than filthy fucking working-class scum.

Yeah, so I picked up usage of the F word after watching the movie. It was a pretty good movie.

My Failing Resolutions

I sort of said to myself that I'd study this year, but I haven't made much progress. I'm not trying to do anything overly difficult, but somehow it still becomes too much effort. I've been trying to learn the blood supply of major systems in the body, and I thought that if I could draw a graph starting from the heart reaching out to all the major organs, I'd be done. Except I've become more obsessed with drawing than I have with memorising the names and branches of arteries and veins, so the original point is moot but I had a blast drawing for hours on end.

I was also determined to not spend 2014 couped up in a shell, staying in my room all day and playing LoL. I figured that I was going to study lots, and I was going to do it in the library or at least in somebody's company, so that I had some sort of motivation and I wasn't so bloody bored the whole time. Having quit LoL, I started--- and finished the Chinese RPG my best friend bought for me years ago, clocking a good 30+ hours in a week. And yeah, I did that in the confines of my room, while I wasn't working. So much for that.

Yesterday was Australia Day, and I got off work because the boss figured there wouldn't be that many customers. I'm grateful for my break, but at the same time I'm a little bit sad about losing my Sunday rates. I went out for dinner with my friend, and ended up walking towards the lake and seeing the fireworks. Hearing this you'd probably think I have a pretty good chance of keeping my resolution for not spending Valentine's Day single, but yeah no, you're totally wrong. Dinner was dinner because we were both hungry and food was good food. I wanted to walk because I felt fat after eating dinner, and the fireworks thing could have been the ultimate romance if I spent it with anyone but him. But precisely because it was my friend who I had known for many years, there was nothing remotely romantic about it. Sometimes you feel like you know people too well, or you're too familiar with them, they feel like the back of your hand. Like, what do you even do with the back of your hand. Even if you had to jack off, it'd be with your palm, yeah?

I'm so irrelevant.

Actually I'm just a little mad at myself for ending up where I am, watching fireworks with someone in the permanent friendzone and listening to him rant on about his friend who smoked too much pot, while the glorious display of fireworks bloomed like chrysanthemums over the night sky. It was such a beautiful scene, but god the soundtrack was awful. If  my life was a movie it would never have finished filming because the lead actor would want to quit every second day.

So yeah, fuck my resolutions. I will still try my best to study, since the school year hasn't technically started, and I want to pull myself out of the "my life has no meaning" slump. Studying gives me a sense of fulfilment because I've done it all my life and apparently I'm pretty good at it, if I actually do it. I think the "go out more" thing will work out, because I quit games in college with the flip of a switch, so it won't be that hard to do the same thing. I think I'll just have to push my "let's not spend Valentine's Day single" resolution back yet another year, because goddamn I'm so awkward and awful and sometimes I think everything is wrong with me, so until I figure that out, I'll be on track for spending the rest of my life alone and dying next to my computer with a tab open for pornhub.

At least when this actually does happen I can be like, "hah, I called it. I fucking called it."

Unhappy Day

Today hasn't been the best of days. I woke up early in the morning out of habit, and I could tell my mom was still pissed. I had sort of rehearsed an apology in my head, but I didn't deliver it because I'm too proud for that, and because I... didn't feel all that sorry after all. Like most people I have problems admitting that I'm wrong, but unlike most people I will apologize if it makes my life easier. You'd think with my bloated ego it'd be a difficult thing, but I have no problem throwing the word "sorry" around, because I'm not actually sorry all that often.

Anyway I didn't do anything, and then my friend came over for most of the day, and mom wouldn't say or do anything bad when I had someone over. Most people like the upkeep of a "we're a happy family" image, and I guess mom's the same. I actually appreciate that, because when people come over I don't want to be embarrassed.

I cleaned my room for a bit and found what appeared to be a ball of black string on my dark carpet. So I picked it up with my bare hands and instead found it was a curled up dead spider. As you can imagine I was thoroughly disgusted, and I kind of dropped it right back onto the carpet. That just meant I had to pick it up again, and I did, but through tissues this time. I mean for one thing I'm kind of glad that the Mortein I sprayed all over my window is working, but finding spider carcasses in the window sill and now on my carpet is just unpleasant.

After my guest left the day dragged on, and my mother went back to being pissed at me. Maybe I got my grudge-holding skills from her. Dinner was prepared and eaten in total silence- something I'd appreciate on almost any other day, but because I cold almost feel the anger directed towards me, it was quite uncomfortable. So I hid in my room, like I always do, and found emails once again reminding me how close I was to failing my course. Okay okay, I had a terrible academic year, but it's already 2014 so I just want it to roll over and try again already. Since I didn't actually fail, I don't want to be forever condemned as the "problematic student who we need to constantly email". Jesus.

I guess I'll just have to study this year.

Just When I Thought Things Had Changed

I had a shocking day at work where I spent the time being bored or pissed off. The morning started with this old lady throwing a hissy fit at me, because she asked about the price of something and I gave it to her. Only common courtesy restrained me from saying "fuck off", because even though she was an old lady and I should've been more forgiving, she was really having a go at me. Anyway I told her to go to a different store, and then about 15min later she came back, now willing to pay the price I quoted. At this point I was telling her to go fuck herself in my head, because she'd wasted plenty of my time bitching at me, and I even sent her to one of our competitors just to be rid of her- but here she was, back again. Anyway, she was one atrocious customer and I hated her, even if she was old and I should've had more patience. Except just because someone has a justification for being a complete bitch doesn't mean I can easily brush it off. I think to a degree I'm very easily offended, and compounded with my unforgiving character, it really is tragic.

As I waited for the bus to go "home", I saw that guy who lived like a street away from me, who I had parted with awkwardly years ago. He was sitting alone on a bench, and I was sitting 20 meters away, next to some smoker who didn't mind giving me some lung cancer. I know ages ago I said I wanted to smoke, but I don't actually mean I enjoy smoking itself, I think it was just me trying to say I needed a really quick dose of stress-relief. So uh I had every excuse to get up from my seat and sit down next to him, and here is where I surprise myself: I actually walked up and sat next to him. Considering the total awkwardness of our last meeting, I didn't think it'd go too well- but I said hi and he said hi. We didn't have a lot to talk about- I think he's now happy to treat me as a neighbour , and have a "more-than-pedestrian" sort of relationship. I didn't try too hard to make conversation- all I did was ask about how he was, how was work, school, life in general, and made some small talk. Then he pulled out his phone and I got the signal, so I pulled out my phone and that was the end of that. As we both got off the bus, we muttered our goodbyes, and I was quite happy that I'd finally talked to him, and happy with the way things had resolved.

Fast-forward a couple of hours, and here I am in front of the computer, being completely pissed. I think I wrote last night that I'd move my old computer into my mom's room, and gotten my desk back. Well when I set it up for her, I also set up some downloads for off-peak times, but for whatever reason it didn't download last night. So I hear her yell my name loud enough so I'd hear at the other end of the house, and when I go to her room she proceeds to whine about how nothing was working. So I try do reset the program, and there she was, still yelling at me "LOOK IT SAYS 21.30, 21.30, THAT'S WHY IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE THAT'S NOT OUR OFF PEAK TIME, AND YOU SET IT TO 21.30". I was kind of irritated then, so I told her 21.30 was the current time, and the program does that by default. Apparently I said that in a really disrespectful tone, and then my own mother decided it was now her turn to throw a hissy fit at me. I had shut up, but there she was, saying one thing after another, like, ”wow look you talk like this to your own mother", "you think you're so smart but you're nothing", "if you know more than me it's because you SHOULD", "I bet you think you're so high and mighty right now". So I got into an argument with her- told that if I sound disrespectful when speaking to her, it's because for one little thing she makes it a drama and says fifty things back, none of which are very pleasant. They're not overtly offensive, but they're such snide, hateful remarks, it serves to remind me why I hated this household in the first place. That's why I like men better than women- when men are mad they tend to swear their face off, but then they shut up. Women will say all these nasty things about you in a twisted way, though that in no way masks its malicious intent to hurt you.

So yeah my mother can be a real bitch sometimes, and when that happens I just want to die. It's like that time I put food on the table for dinner, but mom needed a special diet. Except that day I decided to have a smaller meal and she took my portion instead of her own, accusing me of arranging my food to look like hers, and thus trying to kill her by raising her blood sugar level. If I could go back in time, I'd probably want to tell her, "no, when you treat me like that, I'd much rather kill myself, so I don't have to feel like shit by just being alive".

Look, life is generally okay, but some days are just not worth living through.

I have space

I finally executed my plan of moving out my old desktop to mom's room, and moving my laptop to my current desk. It's so much nicer this way, because now I actually have room and I don't need to sit side ways. It also gets mom out of my room too, since she kinda got used to watching TV in my room until midnight...

It's been really hot lately. I think the past few days has been 38 degrees Celsius and upwards. At one stage it was like 41 degrees. The heat was disgusting. I couldn't even stay near electrical appliances because they released so much heat. Anyway that was pretty much the reason I didn't have my laptop on. I've been using my iPad for the most part, but the internet connection is kind of dodgy. On yeah, and I worked another 10hr shift on Friday, so that was exhausting.

My friend got me into this new rhythm game called Cytus. He said it was the best thing ever, so I thought I'd give it a go. For the first time ever I charged up credit on my iPad, only to find that Cytus is pretty much the same as osu!, and I hated osu!. I felt obliged to play it anyway, since I literally just paid for it, but God it was a difficult game. The reason I didn't like it was because I was bad at it. Anyway about an hour or 2 into the game, I finally figured out that I was meant to hold one of the notes instead of press and drag, so I stopped stuffing up my combos. Then after a couple more hours I was actually perfectly competent, playing Cytus. At this point I don't really regret charging up for it, but whatever credit is left on my iTunes account feels terribly redundant. I'll probably spend it soon-ish when something catches my eye...

So yeah, the heat is terrible, so I've been changing shirts every single day- except our washing machine kinda broke so now my sweaty stinky laundry is piling up. Good thing is I won't run out of clothes, but it's just one of those wtf moments in life- how everything just goes wrong when you least want it to. I don't think the weather's gonna get much cooler, either. I like summer, but this is torture.

Yay for permanently smelling like deodorant.

Goddamn Charity People

Recently I've really come to hate those people who volunteer for charities by blocking the path between my work and the bus interchange. See usually I don't have much against charity people, or even those preachers who stand on the street and try to convince me that I could have a closer relationship with God (like, why would I want that, is he hot? Didn't God impregnate some man's wife in the Bible? So much for no adultery).

Back to topic: I used to think working for charity was an honorable thing: you volunteer your own time in order to make a contribution to society. Except right now they piss me off.

So what exactly have they done to offend me so greatly? Basically by relentlessly following me around when I pretend to not see them, or plainly tell them I'm not interested in talking. I'm just there thinking, "dude have some decency, fuck off! I DON'T want to speak to you!"

Why the hate towards them? Why not just throw them my 2 dollars on the way out? Well you see once upon a time I actually spoke to a few of them, and the stuff they said absolutely disgusted me. "For just 2 dollars a day, you could give a child in Africa an education!" - that wasn't the offensive part. The offensive part was when they told me that I could just skip coffee in the morning to vastly improve some African kid's life, and they rattled on a list of first world privileges I "probably" had. That's so fucking presumptious. I don't even make enough money right now to qualify for taxation, and I have a massive student loan. And here they are wanting me to sign papers to sponsor some kid. I told them I wasn't 21 and terminated the conversation, and they quickly left me alone when they realized they couldn't get money off me.

So what I'm trying to say is, I'm not mad about them asking me for donations, I'm mad that they feel entitled to my money. Look if I give money to a charity it's because I feel bad about those starving people, but it's not my duty to provide a constant sponsorship. These people just have the complete wrong attitude, in my opinion. And look, they probably follow you around and pester you because it works! Because people sign whatever forms to get them to piss off! Except all this forming a line and physically blocking the exit to the mall I work at is just too fucking far. Like, they were doing a nice thing, but now they're worse than those door to door salesmen. I'm like, "you don't get paid to be a pain, so why don't you work for a more respectable charity who doesn't block people at the doors and proceed to follow them around."

Writing this article makes me seem like a giant douche, I'm sure. But it's okay because I'm generally like this, and that's something I don't care to change. I just wish these people would stop wasting my time to talk about random shit, even when I tell them upfront "no I can't donate I'm not 21". Then they're all "let's just talk", but fucking hell do I look like one of those people who are so desperately in need of company that they'd talk to charity people blocking their path? No I'm talking to you because I have to, since you're in my fucking way.

I'd love to be ruder to their face, but I've been taught to have decency in public, unlike them. At some point though, someone is going to witness me being a complete asshole to a charity person, but I assume by then I wouldn't give a shit.

The Heat Oh the Heat

I came up with the perfect solution to deal with my capped internet and unbearable 31 degrees Celsius room at the same time- go to the library. So yeah here I am, in the public library, shamelessly watching my missed LoL matches in 720p, patching up my online games, and updating whatever applications need updating. It's a bliss, being inside. The only down to all this is that I have no food or water on me, and to obtain any means venturing out into the 40 degree Celsius heat, which quite frankly is something I'm just not prepared to do.The Sun is so bright it hurts my eyes. I feel so sorry for those bus drivers driving non-air conditioned buses. It must be hell.

I kind of left my sister unsupervised, running around the library. It should be fine though, as long as she doesn't make TOO much noise. I remember the days where I found the kiddy section of the library entertaining, and I'd borrow out the entire series of Deltora Quest or the newest book of Harry Potter. I think my favourite book back then was Tom Sawyer, because I really enjoyed the idea of being on an island without adults.

So anyway, the library is great, and I enjoy not being overheated.

Passing Time

Finished watching the last episode of Sherlock, and holy shit it was amazing. It had quite a lot of unexpected events, and I just thrilled to see how it would all conclude. Then there's that cliff-hanger ending giving me promise of a new season... though I have no idea when that'll come out.

I've been playing PC games while not-working. I have this RPG my friend bought for me 2 years ago, but I never finished playing due to exams or some shit. Anyway, 2 years on I still think it's fucking amazing, so I played it again from scratch, because my save file has disappeared. I think overall I don't really mind single-player games. When I'm done with this I'll hop on my xbox and play some Fable, and that'll consume the rest of my free time, probably.

I haven't really been studying much, because it just bores me. Two pages into my textbook and I confirm that I am not interested. I tried to read Inheritance again the other day- it was still a piece of shit, no surprise there. I've come to terms with myself- it's just a terrible book I will never be able to get through. So I dropped that and tried reading the 2nd book in Fifty Shades of Gray (or was it Grey). You must be laughing by now- "you thought a book was shit, so you stopped reading it and tried to read Fifty Shades?" But yeah that's pretty much what happened, and I couldn't get through Fifty Shades either. I didn't remember it being quite so terrible- but it's like watching the nature channel and seeing sea leopards mate- except I'm reading and the animals mating are human.

Anyway I threw that aside soon after, and I'm looking at my copy of His Dark Materials, wondering if I could get back to it. According to my bookmark I am about 1/11 of the way through, but at this stage I feel a bit of doubt as to whether I can actually finish it. I always thought reading was one of my primary hobbies, but maybe I've grown to hate it. I don't know. I think I should just escape back to my fantasy novels and stop struggling with books I think I have to read for whatever social protocol. Brent Weeks, my favourite author, is releasing another book this year- it'll be late into the year, but still I look forward to it eagerly.

For the time being I might just start on The Wiseman's Fear, which is the sequel to one of the books I really liked when I was in year 8. I'll just watch some TV show or anime if reading really doesn't work out.

Sherlock Season 3

Season 3 of Sherlock came out recently, and I was vastly excited. The series is still very excellent, but I am having trouble getting used to the non-chronological order of the episodes. I don't think I like how the scene jumps around and I don't have much of a clue. I know it's meant to all fall together in the end- like the jumbled pieces of a jigsaw puzzle; except I don't think I'm smart enough to piece together the puzzle until Sherlock's explanation. Maybe it's because I'm dumb, but I'd like to attribute it to the fact that I'm watching TV and can't really think.

I can't tell if the solution to Sherlock's fake death was anti-climatic or not. I feel like the director toyed with me so much my expectations had all diminished. I thought the whole "Mycroft is a genius, therefore everything makes sense" ploy was kind of cheap... Nevertheless I enjoyed the show. I felt kind of sad that Watson had gotten married and all that- because I figured it'd never be like the "good ol' days" of Seasons 1 and 2. I mean, not that I didn't know it was going to happen, since the TV show is based off the original works anyway- but I think I was hoping that Holmes would fuck everything up at the wedding, insult everyone and just ruin John's relationship with Mary. I mean I guess he kinda does that- but I just feel like... I just feel like Sherlock isn't as much of a sociopath as he previously was- I know that shows character development, but I kinda liked him the way he was before.

Anyway, that's that. I'll watch the last episode probably tomorrow. Having only 3 episodes per season is torture. At least GoT will have more episodes- but I guess they probably have a larger budget as well.

Very soon I'll be looking forward to Season 4 of Sherlock.

Unexpected

Today I met someone whose existence I had forgotten about entirely. He was the manager at my first job ever, and we had a good relationship. Well, that was until I quit unexpectedly one day, while he wasn't at work. I think I even waited until a day where he wasn't there to quit, because I was that awkward of a person. Even though I say we had a good relationship, I didn't have his phone number or anything, and I just lacked the general decency to even say goodbye, even though he was really nice to me. I knew I was really rude, but I was too young and too awkward to rectify the situation.

Mind you, I'm not much older now, or any less awkward.

So the matter at hand is, this guy literally lives one street away from me- a fact I had completely forgotten, despite getting lifts home from him when we worked together. I remember back when I had just quit my job, that I'd avoid his street when I went out for walks, for fear of an encounter. Yeah, I AM that terrible. I don't know why I'm like this, and I wish I never got nervous and never said or did anything stupid- but the more I try the worse it seems to get.

So as I caught the bus home from work today, he said "hi" to me. It took me a moment to realize that I was being spoken to, and then a while longer to take my earphones out of my ears. I couldn't even really register who he was, because of the way he dressed, his new haircut and the fact that he seemed to have lost a bit of weight. Of course it came to me a few seconds later, but a few seconds of awkward silence was all it needed to convince him that I didn't want anything to do with him. He asked me if I remembered him, and I was able to say his name. He then asked me how I was doing, and all I managed to reply was "terribly". I think he asked why, but our bus had reached our stop. I may or may not have remarked "do you still live here", which was terribly stupid because why else would be get off at the same stop as me.

He even said "bye" to me as he left, something which I neglected to do to him because I'm just fucking terrible, okay? I think I seemed so blank and non-chalant he must've thought I was a complete douche- and he wouldn't be far off the mark. Usually I have no problem admitting that I'm generally terrible, but towards him I didn't want to be that way. I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since, and my mood has been graetly affected. I just... don't know what to do to get him off my mind. I mean of course I can distract myself, but that's what I did years ago when I quit my job- and now, it just does not feel right. I feel like I owe him something, but I really haven't changed enough to be able to knock on his door and ask, "do you want to hang out". I mean, it's not like we hung out before, we were just... friendly towards one another. Wouldn't I seem like a complete freak, anyway?

Fucking hell, what the fuck is wrong with me. I DO hate myself.

I want to sleep

It's only 7.30pm, but I am exhausted. It might have something to do with the fact that I got home at 10pm after an 11 hour shift last night- or it might have something to do with the fact that I slept for 5 hours and went in to start work at 8.45am, finishing only about 2 hours ago. I feel so utterly lethargic, it's atrocious. 

I am so lazy right now I cannot be bothered turning on my laptop to play games. I'd like to try out my xbox, but it seems I am fairly content to leave it lying in its box for a week. I can't really explain my lack of enthusiasm- I think I just don't feel like being told off for playing games. When I'm awake in this house life becomes infinitely harder- and when I'm asleep someone always seems to harbour the intention of waking me soon. 

Work was okay today, like it is on most days. There was this lady who was absolutely absurd, then there were 2 other ladies who were one of those "I am an independent woman who deserves more rights because feminism and I WILL stand up to authority" types. They are pretty much the sort of females who become the excuse for misogyny of any kind. Speaking to them was an absolute chore even though nothing was done in particular. I didn't know that speaking to certain kinds of people felt like having your life drained out of you.

I'm day 2 into my "not spending money on lunch" plan, and it's going alright. It turns out I don't really NEED to eat lunch, but when I tend to buy food when I go on break because I can. I think after I get paid for this week I will have enough money for that Jay Chou concert I want to go to. I have decided, I WILL go, even if it means wagging school. There can't possibly be something unavoidably important on a Friday afternoon that would delay my travel to his concert. I am quite excited, even though it is some months away. I just hope the tickets won't be sold out when I get paid, otherwise it'd be tragic.

I AM looking forward to the rest of this year.

The Start of a Good Year

I had a fine day of doing absolutely nothing yesterday- I think my friend came over in the afternoon but I can't remember whether it was yesterday or some other day. The Sun stays out for so long, everything gets confusing after a while, and I can't remember when my day starts or ends. I like the Sun being out for longer though. I do despise winter. 

One thing I do remember is going out to karaoke last night. My friend called me at like, 9pm? Anyway, we went right out, spending the spontaneity of our youth- as well as all the change in our pockets. I once again faced the fact that I can't sing. It was fine though, I had fun.  Then I saw a Jay Chou poster, saying that he was going to have a concert in Australia. Jay Chou is pretty much my favorite singer ever, and I'd marry him any day if it were possible. I didn't mind that a decent ticket would cost 300 dollars- in fact I was thinking of getting the 400 dollar one, except they were already sold out. So now I'm actually TRYING to save 300 for the concert, and I don't think it would take that long. I would easily be willing to work a week if it meant I got to see Jay Chou live. I think I make a bit more than 300 a week anyway, so it doesn't matter.

So yeah, the latest news is pretty much that I'm going crazy for Jay Chou and is willing to spend major money on my first concert ever. If I do end up going it will be absolutely wonderful. The thing's on a Friday night, so I might have to wag a bit of school to get there in time- but I really don't give a fuck. 

There goes my new year's resolution of not-skipping class.

The First of 2014

Happy New Year! I wanted to blog last night, I swear. It was going to be titled "The Last of 2013". Then I realized I was actually really tired. After Boxing Day I pretty much went back to work, and I just kept working and working until yesterday. Mum had planned a "family day trip", and I didn't really want to go, but when my sister work me at 7am saying she wanted me to come along, I couldn't really say no.

So yeah, there I was, sitting in the car for a good 2 hours listening to the familiar argument of "WE SHOULD HAVE TURNED LAST INTERSECTION" vs "NO THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY". We inevitably ended up in the wrong lane anyway, and made many a dangerous lane-changes at traffic lights. Then there was this heinous stretch of road which wound around several mountains, and the asshole driver decided speeding while turning was an excellent idea, because, and I quote, "even P platers were overtaking us".

Anyway we ended up at the destination, which was a muddy beach. My mother brought out an entire rice cooker from the boot of our car- it turns out that she had lunch sorted. We sat beneath a tree for the picnic, and I tried to position myself so that where I sat would obscure any view of the rice cooker. I was a little more embarrassed than I liked to be.

The rest of the day passed without much hassle, to my great surprise. Much like Christmas day, no one was particularly unpleasant to the point where I found it intolerable. I didn't really have the thrill of my life but it certainly was not as bad as most of our other "family day trips". I was really tired when I got home though, so I didn't really do much. Sleep was good since I stopped waking up at 5am for no reason.

And today has also been particularly unremarkable. New years day was actually really quiet with not much to do. My friends wanted me to come out but they gave me next to no notice, and considering how it was completely dark outside, I did not really feel the impulse to leave the house. I guess it's nice, having an evening to myself. I hope 2014 will be a better year.