Killing Spiders

Now I finally understand why killing is sinful. There is a strange pleasure derived from killing; the pleasure of mastery over another being's life. I guess that's a bullshitty way of saying "I got kicks from spraying spiders which live in my window." Using the bottle of insect killer my roommate got me yesterday, I ventured out in the afternoon and sprayed the shit out of my window. I reckon I used at least half a bottle. I stared in awe as a wave of spiders rushed out from the cracks of my window... I was not aware that there had been so many...

...Then I backed away in confusion... I thought the insect spray was meant to kill all the spiders, not have them all rush out from the crevices of my window. It took several seconds, before I noticed how the spiders withered before me, shrinking as they wrapped their legs around their bodies... A few of those spiders looked rather fat. I wonder whether it was about to spawn more spiders before I killed it.

Mum, seeing that I had been spraying my window, commented on how it was entirely my fault that the spiders decided to nest there. After all, if I weren't such a lazy fucker and cleaned my window regularly, it wouldn't be spider infested. I wonder, has she ever thought about HOW I WAS GOING TO CLEAN BETWEEN MY WINDOW. I couldn't remove the netted layer, so the only way was to open the glass layer from inside. Then what, watch the spawn of spiders scuttle into my room? Mum's response to that was "so what? Just kill them all." I don't know why she doesn't understand that I'm scared of spiders. She's terrified of snakes--- enough for it to be a phobia, I'm sure. I remember the time I had a rubber snake in my pocket, and she pulled it out and screamed like there was no tomorrow. For the rest of that day I had to listen to words along the lines of "how could you do this to your poor mother" etc. etc. I'd like to see her reaction, if snakes decided to live under her bed or something. Maybe then I can comment on her laziness, for not cleaning out the snakes under her bed so they spawned more.

Despite the 7 visible dead spiders stuck on various places on my window, I'm still not convinced that they're all dead. After all, I thought there might've been 3, except there was more than double that. I might wait a few days, then spray again. Though the spiders are dead, their bodies are still trapped in between my window... and it's quite disgusting. I should probably clean that out.

I really do hate spiders.