If I Had A Theorem

In maths the other day we were discussing what it'd be like if we could come up with our own theorem. A friend and I thought we had found a way to count regions of planar graphs when they were still in their non-planar form, but then it turned out that our conjecture worked for all of 2 cases. Oh well. However, we were not discouraged, and then we thought, what if one day, we actually came up with a legitimate theorem?

Being the humorous person I am, I thought to myself: how funny would it be, if I gave my theorem a ridiculous name that teachers would have to teach in schools? I wanted something long and stupid sounding- then I thought: what if they abbreviated it? I'll just make the abbreviation a rude word. If they use only the first word of the theorem, they'll realise that it is also a rude word. The first letter? Heh, the first letter can be F. "The F Theorem". Then I was beside myself with laughter.

Later in the day, while I was with two other friends wasting time in chemistry, I told them about my idea. They found it highly amusing, though they commented on my immaturity. I must point out, however, that the following name was a joint collaboration:
Fukyu Armadillo Rainforest Kryptonite Theorem.


It was lucky that the noise of the chemistry lab drowned out the sounds of our laughter.

Then I recommended a more subtle name, as I am sure the Fukyu Armadillo Rainforest Kryptonite theorem would cause some controversy. Being the witty person I am, I said, "why don't we cut it down to one word? We'll call it... "Far-Q" It was a brilliant name, as we soon realised that everything, when renamed "Far-Q" became immensely more entertaining.

I spoke of my dream of becoming an entrepreneur, and I will be the president of Far-Q Enterprises. Maybe I'll go into pharmaceutical research, and sell Far-Q Pills. Then one day, when I take over the world---The United Nations of Far-Q. Maybe I'll start my own online-dating service, with the slogan "Far-Q, and only you." Maybe I'll be a jeweler- "Diamonds Are Forever"? Please, "Far-Q Forever". Or one day, when I receive a Nobel Prize for discovering the strand of molecules which cures cancer--- I'll name it "Far-Q". Though admittedly it'd be more ironic if it cured AIDS. Oooh, there's another one- "Far-Q Contraceptives". My friends, being the wonderful friends they are, soon joined me. "Planet Far-Q", "The Far-Q Galaxy"--- there was also the suggestion of creating a computer virus and naming it "Far-Q" "The University of Far-Q", located in the country of Far-Q. "Far-Q Funeral Services"


Maaaan, the list goes on and on. So many ideas, so many possibilities. All of them so very entertaining. If this is being immature- well I hope I never "grow up".