Expectation: Ah, what a lovely day! The Sun dangles from the azure sky, the gentle rays feel lovely on my face. The breeze is soft, and the clouds are puffy like cotton candy. I must be the happiest person in the world.
Beautiful Women: Oh~you. You are such a poet. So perfect~ If only there were more men like you~
Expectation: Oh my pretty ladies, I'm the only perfect man you'll ever need. *winks*
*Enter Reality, who appears suddenly out of nowhere.*
Reality: That's a fucking horrible poem. In fact, that's not even a poem. It doesn't even fucking rhyme. You fucking suck at this.
Expectation: Ahem~ That, sir, is rather forward of you. Though I must modestly confess that it is not much of a poem-
Reality: Damn straight. And what the fuck are you doing with these girls here? How can they be wearing so little? WHORES.
Expectation: ...Oh, how rude. They have the right to dress however they please, and if it is a fashion which shows off their beautiful bodies, then I have no protests. Besides, it is summer-
*Gust of strong wind blows from nowhere. Temperature falls to 2 degrees Celsius.*
Reality: Not anymore it isn't. WINTER!
Expectation: Hey, what the hell? It was warmer only moments ago... Well, at least it's still sunny...
Reality: CUE THE RAIN!
*Thunderstorm. The beautiful women all run off screaming*
Expectation: Noooo~ Come back~! Argh, this is foul weather indeed. Whatever happened to the lovely skies?
Reality: It was never lovely.
Expectation: But it was only moments ago---
Reality: IT WAS A LIE.
Expectation: What's the matter with you?! First you come in and insult me, then you insult those lovely ladies, and even now you're being unpleasant. But come, now's not the time to argue, let's get in my car so we don't get drenched by the rain---
Reality: There is no car.
Expectation: Oh please don't be ridiculous. We're going to catch a cold in the rain---
*Reality pulls out explosives from nowhere, hurls them at the Mercedes Benz. The car erupts in flames*
Expectation: HEY~! What the hell was that?
Reality: THERE IS NO CAR.
Expectation: OMFG WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A FUCKING JERK?
Reality: Ha, I knew you couldn't hold up the nice guy image for long!
*Expectation recollects his composure*
Expectation: Oh I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened there, I just lost it all of a sudden. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that. It was a pretty lousy car anyway. Let's just leave.
*Expectation drags Reality over to a shelter*
*Reality slaps Expectation in the face*
Expectation: Ow, that hurt, but it was expected. I suppose I needed that. I shouldn't have lost my temper. Thanks for waking me up.
Reality: You're fucking retarded.
Expectation: Well, I know I've never been the brightest out there, but I would say that I'm better than most.
Reality: You're more retarded than a shit-eating monkey with glue for brains.
Expectation: That's a little harsh... But hey, cheer up! When the rain clears, we'll at least be able to go home!
Reality: Your parents don't love you.
Expectation: Oh come on now don't say that. They're a little cold sometimes but-
Reality: Your friends think you're gay.
Expectation: That's not even funny.
*Reality kicks Expectation in the balls*
Reality: Now it's funny.
*Reality poofs, leaving Expectation on the ground alone, crying in pain*
---------------------------Fine------------------------------------------------
TRUE STORY.
^My attempt at writing a play, in case you don't know a script when you see one. Having finished, I feel like I am Shakespeare reborn. Oh how often have I shouted: "MY LIFE IS A TRAGEDY. I must be Shakespeare." Then my friend would correct me: "you mean Hamlet," and I would say, "no, I mean Shakespeare, because I write my own tragedies."
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