Insatiable Hunger

I've told myself a million times that I'm going on a diet. Diet resolutions are always easy to make right after I've eaten. I think I made one last night, and the night before, and the night before that. Always right after dinner.

Now I've finally realised (and accepted) that it just isn't going to happen. I care about my food more than I care about my body image. I come home, I'm hungry, and I go eat biscuits. I could've had fruit, I could've cooked myself noodles- but nooo, biscuits. It wouldn't be such a struggle if it wasn't winter- in summer I go outside after dinner and run around the park- now I sit in front of the computer all day pretending to do work.

...whilst stuffing myself with fat

I could ignore my hunger next time... pretend that I wasn't hungry and just not eat for a couple of days. Except that would never last. I can say what I want now, because I'm full, but once hunger strikes I'm just going to eat. And eat. And eat until I get tired of eating. Not even until I'm full.

So today, after eating lunch, I went back to my room. 30min later I walked out for a biscuit. 10min after that I had a bowl of ice-cream. It feels weird, shivering beside a heater whilst eating ice-cream. I wash my bowl, go back to my room again. another 30min later I go out, finishing off whatever leftover lunch there was. It's like... having 3 meals within 2 hours.Then dinner came a couple of hours later.

I wonder whether I'd lose weight or gain weight after I leave home. Maybe I'd lose it, because I wouldn't bother eating, and there would be no one around to force me to eat. Or maybe I'd gain weight, because I'll be eating out everyday.

Speaking of food... I'd really like a jam tart right now... Along with a cup of hot tea. Well, off I go, I guess...