It's not that I'm completely devoid of ideas- in fact I have an excess of them. The thought-to-paper process isn't a challenge for me either, and incorporating pretentious and mundane words into my essay is never a problem. My biggest hindrance, it seems, is my complete lack of motivation.
"IT'S DUE TOMORROW! YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT YOUR 1200 WORD ESSAY'S DUE TOMORROW AND YOU HAVE 20 WORDS WRITTEN," my inner voice reminds me. To which I calmly reply: "It's not even 3am yet."
Yes, I do have a habit of talking to myself (though not out loud). I have a very dedicated wisp of thought living in my head, constantly reminding me of how much work I have- and how little I've done. I ignore it most of the time. I've sat in front of the computer twiddling my thumbs, reading a couple of interesting articles here and there, occasionally turning to my phone for a few games of Angry Birds. Perhaps the source of my complacency stems from the fact that I know my essay will be ready by tomorrow. I have never failed myself, ever. As stressful as it was, I have always managed. This time, it will be no different.
However, I wish I could avoid that stage of last minute panic. Though it is as productive as I will ever be, it is not a pleasant position to be in. I have come to enjoy my many hours of sleep- reverting to my previous patterns of 4 hours a night is a rather disagreeable idea.
...And as ever, I am procrastinating. Hell, the fact that you are reading this is evidence of it. If I had written my essay instead of this post, I daresay I'd be 1/3 of the way there.
Oh, life and it's ironies.
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