Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Is it too early for New Years Resolutions

My year is pretty much ending soon anyway. Exams tomorrow (OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY'RE TOMORROW), nothing much else after. I'm no closer to pulling myself together, but at least I'm THIS close to passing my examinations. Let's make a list of what I need to achieve then, to be a half-decent person, yeah?


  • Be less aggressive
  • Be less passive-aggressive
  • Be kind 
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Stop judging yourself
  • Stop thinking bitter thoughts and writing bitter rants after midnight
  • No more fantasies about killing yourself
  • Drop that petty argument with your parents
  • Call your "Dad" for once. Or more than once.
  • Stop writing "Dad" with inverted commas just because you hate his guts and don't want to admit that he's your real father.
  • Let your parents know that they're assholes, without using the word "asshole" or any other offensive language. 
  • Try and go a whole 5 sentences talking with parents without crying like a little bitch or leaving the room.
  • Try a bit harder in school. Fake it  a little better. Smile a little brighter.
  • Maybe go to therapy like your doctor suggested
  • Lose some weight. Gain some motivation. Run for a bit longer.
  • See the sun rise WITHOUT the context of pulling an all-nighter for an assignment.
  • Go meet that high-school maths teacher you so cherished, before you regret it.
  • Go drink a little without thinking about pancreatic cancer.
  • It's okay to get intimate with someone without first inquiring about their HIV and Hepatitis status. 
  • At least if you HAVE to ask about it ask it in a non-offensive way.
  • Finish reading your prescribed textbook, for ONCE in your goddamn life.
  • Draw a little more. Write a LOT more. 
  • Walk with your back straight.
  • Stop being ashamed of who you are or what you do.
  • At least pretend to not be ashamed of who you are or what you do.
  • Don't be afraid to love, or admit to getting hurt now and again. Helps you stay alive.
  • Do stay alive. Not just in body, stay alive in spirit.
  • If life doesn't pick itself up, you pick yourself up and keep going.
Keep going.

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