I went to the Mardi Gras for the first time, and woah the crowd was waaay too much to handle. I found it amusing that there were people selling plastic stools for others to stand on, so that they could see the parade. I wish I had that kind of business sense in me.
It's such a privilege to live in a country where we're liberal enough to have a celebration of our differences in gender and sexuality. Well, Australia's still very behind on the matter of marriage equality, but the silver lining is we're no longer criminalizing homosexuality or officially regarding it as a mental disorder. There are many countries for which these issues are still present, and any deviation in what is regarded as "normal" gender or sexual expression is deemed a moral corruption.
Actually I was on Reddit last night and read a thread where China apparently banned the showing of cleavage on TV. I thought it was hilarious, then I remembered how I'm Chinese but totally not proud of it. People on Mainland must hate me, having grown up in the Western world with my Western ideals and Western privileges- but fuck it I wouldn't want to go back to the world of misogynistic oppression and authoritarian rule. And like, they banned showing cleavage on TV. What the fuck do the Chinese who are stuck in China even live for.
It was a good day, yesterday, Hanging out with friends, good food, and just... Sydney, in general. Then on my way home I get a phone call from my mother, who demands to know what I mean when I said I was at a "parade". She didn't know what the Mardi Gras was, and was thoroughly disgusted when I told her it was a celebration of gay pride. Hahah it's weird how I just "forgot" about her conservatism and I can't even find enough effort to lie to my parents now. My mother said she wished I didn't go, and she doesn't want me to be associated with "those people" - then I reminded her, that really, I was one of "those people". That naturally upset her further, and I could hear her distress over the phone. At that point I basically said, if you don't ask, I won't tell, and then we're both happy. If you don't want to hear about my "sins", why don't you just stop asking? Goddamn.
Of course you'd want to ask me, why do you have to answer? But do you remember back in primary school, when there'd be that one annoying kid who followed you around and kept on asking you stupid fucking things, and when you tried to gave them the "silent treatment" it never worked? Then when you've finally had enough of their shit, they cry and tell the teacher and you're in for another load of it. No? Maybe it's just me then. But yeah that's how my parents behave. Like immature children who won't accept an answer they don't want to hear.
To be honest, it sucks when the people who insist that they're the closest in your life constantly try to fuck your world up. I've stopped trusting my parents so long ago, and I pretty much expect abuse- so it's weird to me when someone says they'll unconditionally love their child, or I hear about how kids can just ask their parents for support- like it's normal. Wtf here I am trying to run and hide and just block them out of my life, and they keep on trying to creep back in because they "love" me and "care" about me. Yeah man, I'm sure you do. I don't fucking need your love, and that love comes with terms and conditions I don't want to accept. It's also packaged with the unattractive bundle of "emotional abuse" and "baseless accusations", as well as "the complete guilt-trip".
Like, nah, fuck that. Life is hard, let's not try and make it any harder.
Anyway, I went to the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. I had a good time with friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment