Heart. Romance. Jks.

Whenever I think about heartache or heartbreak it's always really romantic; like there's this backdrop with roses and handsome men and a proposal by candlelight. Fancy, fantasy, dreamy stuff. But now I look at the word heartache I think of angina pectoris which involves your heart slowly dying due to being deprived of blood. I can't stop thinking about revision but I haven't revised very much- and even after I've looked at something I tend to forget it. Overall there is nothing wrong with my comprehension- I remember everything that was explained, but ask me to recall and I'll show you just how much I've forgotten.

Studying the anatomy of the heart, I've realized what a grotesque thing it actually is. If you did any biology in high school you'll remember that the heart is essentially a blood pump- but it's like a continuous pipe twisted and wound around itself to form a massive...blomp (that's not even a word) and there really is nothing more to it. Sure you can look into how it was formed, what allows it to pump, how it can beat faster or slower- but really, it's just a fucking pump that does 2 things. Contract----Relax.... Contract----Relax... How do you keep yourself going when you stare at a gif of this for 10min trying to correlate it with an ECG?

So what I'm saying is: the heart is kind of grotesque and I feel like I have to vomit right now. That probably has nothing to do with revision. I feel like I ate too many raspberry bullets today. To be fair it was the only thing making me happy after 2 hours of staring at notes about "plaque formation".

Hey hey, wanna hear another one of my rants about why alcohol is bad for you? No? Too fucking bad. Anyway, alcohol was like the only thing under the cause for "dilated cardiomyopathy". So like one of the chambers of your heart becomes larger- so now there's more blood in it, but the walls are actually weaker so they don't pump any blood out. Then you just have blood stuck in your heart and not enough blood everywhere else, and you'll have heart failure sooner or later. Doesn't that sound wonderful.

In conclusion: all romantic notions I had of the heart have been destroyed- I am now a new person seeing the world in a new perspective. This complete paradigm shift has caused me to become a better person and I'm on my way to ending world poverty.

Jks.