Still Waiting For Flight

Alright now I'm just abusing airport wifi. That's acceptable, right? I know I've already ranted on for so long before, but I am so bored right now and there's like, nothing else to do despite having internet. I'm just too stoned to read or pay attention to anything, and basically it just goes right over my head. At least typing this is like transferring my thoughts into print, and I really do like the feeling of my fingers pressing against the keyboard. Oh and the fact that I can type decently fast and without staring at the keyboard all the time.

It's sad because it's so early in the morning in China. I feel like it's 4 in the afternoon but it really isn't. I guess my memories are just still stuck in "yesterday" because of travel and everything, but in a way it also feels like 3 days has passed... Maybe I'm just really messed up because I haven't slept. See I caught a train to the airport, which took several hours, and that felt like it was 3 days ago but it wasn't. Then waiting for my plane to arrive felt like a separate day on its own: I got the the airport super-early out of pure paranoia, and I couldn't even check in because I got there so early. I just sat in a corner for hours, recharging my phone while I spammed facebook chat.

Of course the super long plane flight/ movie marathon felt like its own day. And well, I've rolled a clean slate and I'm recognizing that it is in fact morning, the beginning of a new day. Oh yeah, never mind that I feel like it's late afternoon where I'm usually the most sleepy.

I just want to sleep. But if I sleep now I'll most likely miss my flight. Which will be awkward. I could always sleep when I get off my flight, but when I get off it won't even be noon (omfg why is it so early) and it'll be really bad if I sleep for 12hrs in the day time with all my "family" there.

Did I even mention I hate every single one of my relatives in China, except for my brother?

Argh, life is hard man. As soon as I see one of my aunts I will inevitably be called "fat" (no seriously, I'm not fat, my BMI is normal) and my uncles will be like "not fat...sturdy is the right word" and I'll just stand there laughing awkwardly but secretly hating myself and everyone around me. Then I'll have to meet my brother's wife... well I should say sister-in-law but I don't really want to call her sister because it sounds wrong and I barely know her. Like sure my brother loves her but it's like... she was never a part of my life...

I do hate family politics. I really, really do. I don't understand how people deal with this crap. In my simple black and white world, I'd call the "family" I didn't like once a year (at new years) out of obligation and wish that they change to become more likeable people in general. Too bad the local custom seems to be giving the "family" you don't like gifts, talk about them behind their backs and to all the other "family" members, spend a long time playing the "no you stay there I'll pay the bill" game and--- how can I not mention this, the hide-and-seek-the-red-envelope ritual.

In case you've never heard of the last one, I'll explain. Red envelope = money. Basically they're trying to give you a gift of money, and you spend a long time turning it down, like, NOOOO WE'RE FAMILY WE'RE TIGHT WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME MONEY, and they'll go IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE FAMILY THAT YOU CAN TAKE MONEY OFF ME TAKE IT and then you both just keep reiterating the same points to exhaustion.

Then it starts when one side sneakily hides the red envelope in the others' possessions, so that when they go back home they'll find that they have the red envelope. Basically, treat the money like a time-bomb. I guess it is time-bomb, in a way... just more of a social time-bomb. In the end, one side will "win", and winning means not being in possession of the red envelope. The ritual begins again when the side that "lost" the previous round tries to give back the same amount of money or more in another red envelope. AND ON AND ON WE GO TIL ETERNITY.

Fuck I hate Chinese customs. It's all so...fake. And I'm such a Westerner for saying this, but goddammit why do you have to make life so complicated. As if socializing wasn't hard enough as it is, you bring in all this fluff which takes a fuckload of effort to understand in the first place and extraordinary talent to put into practice. I reckon if I ever mastered the art of red-envelope-ritual, I'd be like the smoothest politician to have ever existed. No kidding.

Alright, enough ranting for now. Gotta keep optimism up and alive. Can't get myself depressed before I even properly reach my destination. Go Go Go happy-China-travel-time.