Exaaaams

I can count down before exams. This study vacation thing has been disastrous. All that work which I...didn't do. Yup. Had a look at practice questions then, and I was resigned to the fact that I'm probably screwed. 50% pass is no longer much of a consolation. For the first time in my life I'm doubting my ability to get 50% on a test. A lot of the time I say stuff like, "if it's just passing, I don't even need to try"--- so look, here I am, not even trying.

It saddens me to think that I will have literally wasted 3 months of my life if I fail my test on Monday. Yeah, liver metabolism is a piece of shit. I can't get over that topic. It just keeps on haunting me, because whenever I go to write about it, I realize I don't even know wtf I'm writing. When I panic I use the words glucose, glycogen, glycogenesis and glycogenolysis interchangeably, but they really don't mean the same thing. I also have a tendency to word-drop when I know nothing about a subject: like, oh look here's a big and scary word I heard on one of the few lectures I attended!

...Not that I know what the word even means most of the time.

I'm slowly becoming more and more resigned to being shit at biology--- and well, science in general. I should've totally just taken religious studies...tsk. I'll make more money through my "spiritual healing" than I ever will as a psychiatrist, anyway. And who knows, people might even be grateful.