I have this 3000 word report to write before I finish school officially this year, so far my word count is at 2000 and I've just run out of motivation. I feel like every word I write is worthless and I'm just writing this assignment for the sake of writing. I really don't have 3000 worth of content to talk about, and I'm just writing in a really verbose way compared to my usual concise style. It makes me feel so obnoxious and I'm just fed up with it, actually.
I also find it ironic how I can just blog or whatever and it's all good, I can just write whatever comes to mind, but as soon as I switch tabs back into my word document I just wanna cry. I thought I'd get out for a bit today, to put myself in a better mood, but the good weather lasted like all of 3 hours before it became overly cloudy and it was like the sky just became sad. Well I actually loved the color of the grey-blue sky, and taking a leisurely walk with the cool wind brushing against my face- but my mood didn't actually get any better and I just felt really oppressed for some reason, like I was suffocating internally.
It might be because my cough won't go away and I have trouble breathing at times. I'm certainly coughing LESS now compared to before, and I've stopped popping pills like they're candy. I don't think it's my physical condition that's getting me down... I'm just hoping life gets infinitely better as soon as this report is done. Usually I procrastinate for ages and expect my report to just... well, write itself, but this time it hasn't actually written itself and I'm just feeling sad.
I might just be really homesick, I don't know.
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