The World Ends With You

The World Ends With You (TWEWY) is one of my favourite games, by far. I say this because after completing the entire story, finishing the noise (monster) catalogue and collecting every single item there is, I chose to buy the iOS version and now I'm replaying it. It's been so long since I last played this game though, I'm hit by surprises at every corner.

Surprise 1: the game is sooo fucking hard. I didn't realize, because I'd clocked so many hours on it and I became obsessive in collecting items/ pins (weapons), that I essentially had a very OP set of everything. As soon as I restarted, I found nearly every single boss fight to be impossibly hard and it took so much more skill than I remembered. What do you mean I have to TIME boss attacks and REACT? Why can't I just finish the boss off in 3 hits or let him hit me for 0 damage?

Anyway despite my complaints I'm now onto the last boss fight of the main storyline... and the game's been getting easier as I go on, because I remember all the little tricks from my previous run so it's been ok. The only thing shitty about today was how my iPad crashed in the middle of the boss fight- but I was knocked back to the beginning of the sequence because I have to fight these 3 figures in a row. That told me that I should probably take a break- but I was kind of mad because I wanted to witness the end of the story once again...

Playing this game has got me thinking again... This isn't one of my fav games because it's simply "fun"--- the storyline was kind of deep. I feel like I'm like the main character, Neku. I'm not as anti-social or emo as he is, but we both have the same problem with not being able to "enjoy the moment". For me life is a matter of finding the shortest distance between A and B--- everything which isn't a straight line is simply a waste of effort. I want efficiency, and I want speed. I enjoy the philosophy of enjoying every moment of life, good or bad, and getting all you can out of the experience- it's just something I haven't quite learnt to do.

When I moved away to this university I felt sad for a long time. While I enjoyed getting away from the nightmare that was my parents, I left a lot of things. The possibilities of my future had become limited- before I graduated I could've been ANYTHING, but now I'm going to med school. A shitty 2nd tier med school, at that. See, even now, I don't have many kind things to say about my school. I didn't have fun at all. People were congratulating me on my degree but I felt dirty simply mentioning my university. I dare say 95% of the people out there will simply think I am too entitled and I really need to get over myself- but a few of you will understand what I mean, and how I feel about this situation. It's... difficult to describe, really.

Anyway- I had left behind a school I was proud of, my favourite teacher (who gave me advice on what was best for ME, and only ME), my best friend, and really an entire community of people. I know it sounds kind of cool to be able to rebuild yourself around a new group of people and "start over"--- but I'll tell you what, starting over is only fun if you royally fucked up the first time. If you're like me, who actually did alright and was generally happy with their identity- having to start again is really another crisis in itself.

As you know I dealt with my depressive period by playing A LOT of League of Legends. I don't really regret it, since I met one of my closer friends through LoL- but whilst I was playing LoL I really wasn't responsive to the people who were physically there, with me. Sure I had people to hang out with--- but I always had it in my mind that they weren't "my kind" of people, that we couldn't really get along. I guess it was a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end, since I subsequently lost contact with some of the people I hung out with last year.

Now I've come to realize that I'm still a really lucky person, and that nothing's really changed. I've never thought about it before, but even at this 2nd rate uni, I still have friends. I wrote somewhere that to meet the friends I met in college was something so rare, one would be lucky for it to happen once in a lifetime. I think I'm luckier than most, and once again I've met people who I trust will take good care of me. There's this friend of mine... who surprises me almost every day. Every time I think I've got his personality figured out, he says something which throws me completely off balance. He introduced me to his new flat mate the other day- he'd been talking about this "new boy" for a while now. I wondered for a while why this new boy intrigued him so- and I understood that he wanted me to meet the new boy because the new boy's English was bad but I could speak his native language. When I met his new flat mate I must say the guy was completely underwhelming. A little timid, a little unkempt, and his voice sounded utterly nervous- like he was on the edge of a breakdown. And I recalled what my friend told me- he talked to the new boy because he knew what it was like to be stuck in a foreign country and not speak their language- and he wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. It's a wonder to me, even now, what people do for other people. I didn't think my friend was the extra-bubbly type who volunteers at charity events--- and he's probably not. I guess I was just surprised by... how kind he actually was. We live in a world where kindness is not taken for granted- it's sad, but it also means an act of kindness means a lot more when it does occur.

Then I realized how lucky I was, to have someone like that as a friend. Knowing myself, if some new kid moved into my block I would most likely watch them struggle while I went about my own business. Sure I'd say hi when we brushed past each other--- but I don't think I would go to the length that my friend has gone to. And I wish I was that kind- and so I'll learn from him, and I'll try my best, too.

For someone who spends so much of their time feeling sad, I really am a very lucky person.