Well Then

It's only half past 10, but I've been feeling sleepy for about an hour. Maybe this is why I've been consistently waking at 7.55am--- because my body wants to sleep at 9pm. I didn't have class today- legit, for once. Yet I had to get up early and get to the library to work on an assignment. That was extremely boring. I was in the company of a good friend, and he entertained me a great deal--- but when it came to actually doing work, it was boring as fuck. Needless to say, I wasn't very productive--- and he tried but I kinda distracted him.

Thinking back I feel kinda guilty about how we got almost nothing done--- but I'd rather do almost anything if it means I can avoid work. Then we kinda left the library to go do more practical work, and that took ages and now I'm just exhausted. I don't know how my friend finds the energy to then attend another lecture in the early evening--- I was just worn out and over it.

Even as I'm typing, I can barely keep my eyes open. What a depressing discovery... considering how I used to be able to stay up til 3am with no pressure...

Oh well, I guess I'm going to bed then. What is this world coming to...

Days Are Too Long

I'm still disoriented. Today feels like either Thursday or Friday, but it's not even. I've stopped feeling randomly tired in the afternoon, for some reason. But now I automatically wake at 7.55am. I don't know why, my body clock is fucking with me. No matter how late or early I sleep, I wake at 7.55am. It's happened for 3 nights in a row, and while being awake early morning is a good thing, it still freaks me out. I slept at 3am, woke up and I wasn't even tired. Not that I should really be complaining, because this strange phenomenon is much better than randomly feeling exhausted in the afternoon.

I finally, FINALLY finished reading the last book of Tiny Times. The ending was so absurd and vague I had no idea what happened, and when I finally understood it was all so wtf. The third book was becoming reallsy emotional and really moving, and I was really starting to hate the narrator because she became such a bitch. Then there was a happy ending before abruptly everyone dies. Oh whoops, did I spoil the book for you? Eh, it's not like you'd ever read Tiny Times so it's OK.

My friend gifted me a series called His Dark Materials for my birthday, and I told him I'd start reading it after Tiny Times. The only problem is that I actually started reading Dracula instead, and now I kinda want to read HDM but I also really want to finish reading Dracula. Dilemmas.

I wish I had more time. I got recent inspiration from a song, and now I want to draw a series of pictures to match the lyrics. Except it'll take so long, and I have so many assignments it's not funny. Why is everything due at the same time... Getting stuff in on time is so complicated...

Sigh, I better go read that assignment I was meant to work on before I sleep. My friend is keen to "collaborate" with me, and I just find it horribly embarrassing how he uses the word "collaborate" when I haven't even read the assignment.

Before I go though--- here's the song which inspired me (she's so beautiful).

Everything Ever

I'm taking another weekend off and I'm currently back home down south. Mum's been wanting me to come back and I didn't think it'd be that bad to come down for a couple of days, but day 1 and I feel like I've had enough. I've missed my sister quite a bit, annoying atrocity though she is... I still think she's the cutest thing ever. Every time I come back though I think to myself "wow our house is massive" but after settling for a bit I'm all "nah it's not even that big". Everything's really new though and my room is so clean... it's weird.

I kinda want to call my friends and go out for a bit, but I'm still in my regular term so if I go out it means I will get zero work done. Not that I've been getting any work done anyway. I spent pretty much all of today playing on my phone--- I've gotten really addicted to this game called Tower of Saviors, and it's on both Android and Apple so I just happen to have it on both my phone and iPad in case one runs out of battery. Yeah it's pathetic I know. What's worse is that I've started two separate accounts so that I can always play if I want to (otherwise there's this stamina restriction).

Yeah, I'm cool, I know.

It's...Thursday!

I had an extra long day today. Getting up before 7am is like the worst thing ever. Everything just felt so wrong. I was dizzy, I felt weak and it was extremely cold. But I had all of half an hour before I had to run to the bus stop and then catch a 1hr train to work experience. The whole travelling thing was just not-fun in the morning. I so wanted to sleep on the train but I couldn't...

Then ofc I got to where I wanted but the day dragged on and by the time I got back I was exhausted. I'm now kinda familiar with my daily afternoon-exhaustion episodes, so it wasn't too bad... I just kinda sat and played games for a while, before trying to sleep and deciding against it...

Anyway, I'm looking for a new anime/manga to start, because I've pretty much exhausted everything I want to read/watch. I wish I wasn't so picky about artwork, but it can't be helped. To be honest I'd much rather play games right now, and I'm really missing games where I can level up and kill things. I know I've been playing LoL but it's really not my type of game. I much, much prefer MMORPGs compared to MOBAs. I think if I get desperate enough I will just go back to playing on my 3DS... though right now there aren't many games I want to play.

I really do wish I could just play games all day and not worry about studying. Uni is so overrated.

What day is it?

My alarm woke me up in time for class--- I had the best sleep I've had in something like a week, and for some reason I decided to roll over and skip class instead of getting up. That's all fine and dandy, because when I finally got out of bed I felt so overwhelmingly good about everything ever. 3 hours later, in the present, I feel exhausted once again.

I don't understand it, I really don't. I mean I've done a bit of work but it was NOT strenuous. I haven't even gone out of the house, and I didn't even put effort into making food. Yet somehow, in a mere 3 hours, I've gone from feeling fresh and alive to being utterly drained and exhausted. This is pretty much exactly how I felt yesterday afternoon and the afternoon before that. Maybe I just don't agree with afternoons, I don't know. On top of that, I also feel freezing cold. I have the heater on, but unless the weather report is lying to me, it's like 16 degrees Celsius. 

I hate how everything's complete dark at 5pm, making me think that it's actually 10pm and that I should be sleeping soon. It's so deceptively warm during the day time, I just keep thinking it must be summer. Not that I want summer in a place like this, the temperature would be disgustingly high. I also have a million mosquitoes scars on me so I don't really want more.

Bleh, I don't know what I'm doing. Everything's too hard.

Not-So-Dead

I went to my Monday lectures for the first time in like 3 weeks. I am so proud of myself. If I can bring myself to attend my Tuesday lectures as well I will be on my way to attending ALL my classes... or something like that. I don't understand why I'm so tired. I mean, I've been doing shit all, all day. There's really no reason to be this tired, and yet I am. I haven't gotten anything done, really. I haven't been working, which is not unusual, but I haven't been able to finish the drawing I've started or the book I've been reading for over 2 weeks now. Even when I try to play LoL I feel exhausted after one game and I lose my desire to play any longer.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I could fix my sleep/work patterns. It sucks being so exhausted all the time. I think I just really need... another holiday. God damn I wish holidays were more frequent. I just don't want to work any more. It's so dreadful, thinking about my 5 assignments all due in the same week or whatever. Nothing's actually that hard, but the effort required is just...too much to bear.

Welp, better sleep before the Sun rises... I wish it was just dark forever...

That Sleep

So it turns out I haven't blogged in a couple of days again, mostly because I think sleep is for losers so I haven't been getting much. As a result I am just perpetually tired, and I just haven't been generally well... I got up at 9am after 6 hours of sleep to watch my favourite team play in a LoL tournament, and they lost so hard I felt terrible, because I was disappointed and because I could've totally slept in for another hour if I'd known.

I'm barely keeping up with school work, but lectures are so tedious I just don't feel like going. I feel as if I've accumulated a lot of stuff, and I wonder whether I actually remember much of anything from what I've gathered. I think ever since I came back from Sydney everything's just been kind of shit. So I got an email saying I won something from a competition at the convention, but as it turns out I had to collect it on the day and now it's been given away. Because it was a group competition my friends knew about it, and one of them told me "best we don't find out what the prize was, and just assume it was shit". So now I'm just imagining the prize was a packet of used condoms, and I'm not really missing out on anything when someone else claimed it.

I've also been getting really addicted to this phone game that's like a mix between bejewelled and monster card. Basically you collect monster cards and you can merge cards to evolve monsters or to power them up, and you can battle other monsters with your cards. The battle is like a bejewelled board where you have to match gems to attack or w/e. Anyway I gave a terrible explanation but the game's really fun and really addictive.

And as of now I'm having an intense discussion of morals and ethics with my LoL-buddy. I've missed discussions where I actually have to think and make valid arguments. This is like, an intellectual exercise, instead of pointless banter where the other person gets really pissed at me. Oh man you know what the ironic thing is? The guy I had the massive fight with and I decided I didn't want as my friend any more, he asked my room mate out (because she'd broken up with her bf or something) and when she told me I was like NOOOOO WHY THIS IS SO FUCKING AWKWARD OMFG WHY. She hurriedly assured me that she turned him down but this morning I saw that she was wearing this shirt and the guy also has a jumper with the same pattern as her shirt---- and I'm just all BUT YOU TWO ALREADY HAVE MATCHING CLOTHES OMFG WTH THIS IS ALL A LIE WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE.

Okay, I may be a little disturbed from my lack of sleep. Maybe. Just a little. So I'm going to go now. Good night.

Yum ALL the Cha

Came back from Sydney today, but I had a good time before I left. First thing, I woke up at 11am. Long sleep is always good. Then I went out to yum cha, which was even better because God I miss good food already. I know I went to China only recently and pigged out, but as it turns out when I have tasty food I want to eat...

I don't think I've spent that much on yum cha in a loooong time, but it was so worth my money because I was starving. Then I went grocery shopping, and that made spending money all okay because vegetables are so much fresher and cheaper in Sydney... Plus they have typical Asian vegetables which I just haven't seen in ages...

Aw man I just had such a nice time in Sydney I never wanted to leave. In comparison everything is just a shit hole now... Sydney has all the nice stuff that China has (shopping, Asian grocery stores) but the sky is still blue and people are still slightly more educated...

Anyways, good times, but now I need to go back to stressing about work and study and everything else mundane in life. Life would be too unfair if I could have a good time all the time, eh?

My First Anime Convention

Despite watching a bit of anime now and then, I don't actually consider myself much of an anime fan. Anyway, I went to my very first anime convention today, and it was kinda exciting, but I'll start this entry by recounting what happened yesterday. Friday night was a blast, even if the day was a little erf. You see, I had to be at some place by 9.30am, which meant I had to wake at 6am. My room mate, being the not-very-considerate person she is, decided to keep me up til 2am by refusing to leave my room. I figure it was my fault that I invited her in the first place, but I have observed that she has the tendency to stay in my room at the most inappropriate times, like that time she had her boyfriend over... *deep frown*

Anyway, she tried to "make it up to me" by relentlessly telling me to "go to sleep" on the train to Sydney. It's really not how sleep works, and I am slightly exasperated by her efforts. Anyway, it turns out I can function on very little sleep, so I was quite hyper when we had dinner by the harbour, and I even stayed awake long enough to scream until my throat hurt at karaoke. It felt good, spending a shit-tonne of money. Nvm that it's essentially 4 weeks of grocery money. I need a little fun in my life, and I reckon this is it. 

Then I went to the convention today. It certainly wasn't as spectacularly awesome as I expected, but I saved myself from gloom and doom by seeking out some friends who I'd grown distant to and enjoyed their company. I watched parts of the cosplay show, and I thought it was amazing how much effort people put into their costumes. I wish I could actually see it in Japan or go to USA, where cosplay is a thing and people don't give you weird looks for it. I didn't actually cosplay myself because I don't really like costumes and I figured I'd get lost in town trying to find places, and I didn't want to attract strange attention. 

I bought a bunch of random stuff at the convention, and by the end of the day I have no idea where my money went. I think I spent as much on food (if not more) than I did on anime merchandise. The sad thing is, when I was there I thought to myself, "if I bought this online it would be cheaper", so then I refrained from buying a lot of things. Then I didn't buy any artwork because I was all "psssht, I can draw that" or "these are all too good and I can't decide what I want, so I'll get nothing instead". There was this art book I really wanted though; it was by one of my favourite artists and it was signed--- except the art book was in terrible condition and the signature was from 2 years ago... Oh plus it was heavily overpriced...

Anyway, I have random trinkets from the convention, and it makes me happy that I actually spent my money on something. I wish I could've bought more stuff, but there really was nothing that caught my eye. I couldn't even see traces of my favourite anime there, so I didn't bother...

All in all I had a good day. The convention wasn't the best thing in my life but it was a pleasant way to spend the day. I certainly saw a lot of things and got the whole "convention experience". There is just so much to see and so much to do in Sydney... I do love this place.

Artistic Inspirations

It's late at night, and I'm kinda high. My room mate says I may be over-compensating after I decided to change my laptop desktop to something more creative. It's because when I looked for a new desktop background I realized my pictures folder was full of cute anime guys, and for a second there I just felt like the biggest otaku and pervert in the world. So I was like, man, things have got to change. 

Then I found this weird looking green figurine thing in my draw, and I asked my room mate what it was. She said it was an earphone holder, so naturally I decided to use my earphones to make it look like the figurine had a penis. Then I wrapped my earphones around its neck and secured the earphones using the figurine's mouth. I said it was weird enough that my figurine had an erection, but now it looks like he's choking himself around his neck with a mouth gag inserted. My room mate said my earphones made it look like the figurine had balls in his mouth. I lol'd.

Apparently I have "heavy tastes". I just think I'm hilarious. And very, very artistically talented. I mean, look at it. LOOK AT IT.

Dr Spaceman

I've started watching season 2 of 30 Rock, and it's like the best thing ever. I don't even know why it's not that popular, because I'm like "wow this is so much better than HIMYM". Anyway I fell in love with this character called Dr Spaceman, and for some reason I just think he's the funniest thing ever. My favourite scene is probably when he walks into the room with his patient and a couple of other people, and he's all "I value doctor-patient confidentiality, so I'm going to need you guys to keep this a secret between us".

I think it's the fact that he does these morally questionable things that make me love this character so much. Then there's the time he almost recommended crystal meth as a way to lose weight, which I also found hilarious. There is probably something wrong with me, but I was all "I wish more doctors were like Dr Spaceman".

Anyway, even though I've had a pretty good start, the events of this week is starting to push me into overdrive. There's not exactly any "work", but I just have to be in places at times and getting there is so much effort. It's Thursday today, so tomorrow afternoon I'll be in Sydney. The thing is I will be really tired because I need to be awake at 6am to catch an early train...

But everything will work out, because all I need to do tonight is pack, and I'm going to have the best weekend ever in Sydney!

Living the Fine Life

I'm blogging at school again. Only because there's internet and I feel good about myself after a night of little sleep... I skipped school all of yesterday simply because I "didn't feel like it" and went grocery shopping instead. I could've gone to class after grocery shopping- I could've easily gone grocery shopping after class, but I decided to do one and not the other. Then all I could remember was playing a lot of LoL and fervently cramming everything I need to know about abdominal examinations. All that stuff about making a conscious effort to go to class? Yeah that shit's going down the drain. I go when I want and if I want.

I had an early start this morning, 8am sharp. Felt terrible, waking at 6.50am. You could argue that it was close enough to 7am, which is when I'd wake on a normal school day last year--- but let's not compare life to last year. Last year was probably the worst year of my life in terms of the number of times I wanted to tear this world apart. Back then there was no way I could sit in the library for a couple of hours, watching LoL videos, then open a textbook and start studying at my leisure. I couldn't move around to find lunch back last year, because I was busy doing maths. Compared to the present, where I'm sitting under the Sun, sipping a bottle of Mountain Dew and blogging on my iPad... Everything is so perfect right now, and this day has gone by so well I'm almost afraid that someone or something will completely destroy my evening...

Maybe I should just sleep as soon as I get home, and mark down today as one of the rare perfect days of my life... Though the chances are I'll start playing LoL while trying to finish off work for tomorrow's tutorial, and then I'll throw a hissy fit gamer-rage style, before deciding to sleep at 4am...

Man I can't wait til Friday. As soon as I get over this week, one of the busiest weeks ever will be over, and my weekend will be so good. I'll be with friends I haven't seen in ages, and I'll get to see a lot of stuff in Sydney. Even if Sydney or my friends aren't as exciting as I anticipate, at least I'll have no work, and I can just have a nice free weekend...

I am having a good day...

Making Plans

It's Monday morning and I blissfully slept through my alarm. It's not like I didn't hear it, but I saw that it was 8am and decided to sleep through my 9am lecture. Now it's half past noon and I could make it to my 2pm class if I really wanted, but I went shopping, made appointments and got a lot of shit sorted out. Basically I'm more productive at home than I would be at school.

Flipping through my textbook, I'm trying to learn how to do an abdominal examination. If our internet wasn't so tragically capped I could watch YouTube videos and learn from there, but sadly the only thing I can do with this internet is Facebook, Twitter, Blogger and Google if I'm willing to wait 20 seconds for a search result. My room mate is kinda hating on me for that 400mb LoL update I pulled the other night--- oh that's right, I CAN STILL PLAY LoL. Hah.

Not very helpful, considering my ability to do work is hindered by slow internet, but in the meanwhile LoL remains unaffected. But since I've decided to take the day off school, I assume I'll get something done in exchange. Abdominal examinations are so intimidating though... You have to touch people. Then again, when I started history taking I was all "oh God, I have to talk to people". I guess I'll get over my own little barriers when the time comes...

Anyway, I've got a lot of stuff coming up this week--- I've gotta get myself organised. Every day appears to be a really busy day, and I feel as if I'll trip over myself if I don't get my shit together now. At the end of the week though, I am rewarding myself with a trip down to Sydney, where I will hopefully be meeting up with friends at my first ever anime convention. I plan on going down quite early on Friday, and do my own little tour of Sydney--- I don't think I've ever had a decent tour of Syd, so this "explore Syd by yourself” thing should be quite good. I don't really have to be at a certain place at a certain time, I can just roam around, buy whatever I want, eat Sydney food and take terrible selfies and upload those to Facebook, pretending that I've been having a spectacular time. Well, that wouldn't really be pretending, except I think it's looks a little depressing when you're going around time on your own... even though it isn't. It's like I'm not actually lonely but I don't want to look lonely--- well, I don't want other people to think I'm lonely...

Wow I'm bad at this.

Anyway, I've got my week mapped out on paper--- now I just have to do all my work, and I'll be up for an excellent weekend.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

Those that know me will know that I've always had an interest in psychology--- and that's probably the sole reason why I'm looking up the MBTI when I'm bored at 2am. It's basically a personality test--- one that suggests that there are 4 dichotomies to personality, and rates the degree of your preference towards a certain trait. You can look up the details somewhere, this isn't a psych class. Anyway, being bored, I took the test and was labelled as INTJ (introversion, intuition, thinking, judgment).

Looking at the explanation of what the INTJ personality is supposed to be, I guess I agree with everything it says. Except I wonder whether this is just another one of those vague things where I agree because the personality test is saying nice things about me. Well, not everything is nice, but the not-so-nice bit I can deal with. To boil it down, the personality test essentially told me that I was a super-genius but socially retarded. Skipping past all that praise about me being logical, confident and a natural leader (no need to waste time on what I already know, right?), I went to the "relationships" section.

Apparently I fail at relationships. Something about failing to communicate my feelings and an utter rejection of social rituals I deem meaningless. I immediately thought back to this conversation I had with this friend of mine, who told me I should dress nicer if I want to attract romantic interest. Basically what I told him was I don't like putting a lot of effort into dress, and if they like me because they liked what I wore, the relationship will surely break down when I decide dressing up is too much effort. My friend was trying to tell me that I was meant to "hook them" with the dress thing and then go from there, but I dismissed it without much thought because I thought it was ridiculous...

In retrospect, maybe he had a point.

The personality test also told me I don't respond to spontaneous infatuation, but I instead wait for someone who meets my criteria to come along. I wish I could prove it wrong... but I fail to think of examples. Life is tragic when even a personality test tells you your love life is non-existent. The test also said even though I fail at romantic relationships, I was willing to invest abundant efforts into them, wanting to "work" at it. Thinking back to my failed crush last year and my terribly embarrassing attempts to attract their attention, I almost wish I could rewrite history.

Looking for consolation, I jump to the section of "famous people with INTJ personality"--- and I find "Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes" to be among the list. Thanks a lot, stupid piece of crap test. The most attractive thing on that list was probably "Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice", but even then I think back to how the entire book was about how Darcy failed to express his emotions and was misunderstood...

This is why you shouldn't do random personality tests in the middle of the night. Their only function is to depress you. That is all.

Mirai Nikki

The most recent anime I've watched is Mirai Nikki, which means "future diary" in English. I can't remember where I first heard of it, but I think it was one of those suggestions down the bottom of the page when I watched Death Note. Anyway, I got the anime off my friend and I found a chance to watch it. It was...pretty amazing. I thought I wouldn't like the art style or the story... but strangely the art was tolerable and I didn't mind the story.

The plot in general is about this boy who writes a diary with his phone, and one day his phone writes his diary for him, in advance, telling him what happens into the future. He can then base his actions on known outcomes to then change that future into something that benefits him. Then it turns out that he's not the only one with a future diary, and there are 12 diary users in total. I think the selling point of the whole plot was that they diary users had to kill each other, and the last man standing gets to become the God of Time and Space. 

                           

Anyway, the story wasn't that interesting, but the characters were. The protagonist, Yuki, freaks out after finding out he's been entered into a survival game and breaks down. Now he would usually be one of the characters I really hate, because he's weak, pathetic and generally wimpy. He wants to hide behind others or beg for mercy when he's in danger, or he'll just flat out cry while someone's holding a gun against his head. Then when the situation turns around (because he is the protagonist after all), he wants to let everyone go...

Maybe I've just watched so many animes with the really "cool" characters (Lelouch from CG, Light from DN, Yamato from DS 2) that an ordinary protagonist seems pathetic. Yet for some reason I was actually able to empathise with Yuki, because when I think about it, there's not much a 14 year old kid can do when someone's holding a gun against his head. It's amazing how he progresses over the series though--- Yuki's not one of those "wild growth" characters who become completely different after an episode, the change is natural, gradual and I quite liked it.

But my favourite character was his girlfriend, Yuno. Even if you haven't heard of Mirai Nikki, you've probably seen pictures of Yuno on the internet somewhere. She is just... so cool. And psychotic. Never have I seen an anime where the character is literally insane, but Yuno pulls it off beautifully. Like, I've seen characters go "mad with rage" or w/e, but this is not the same. She is actually crazy. I guess you'd be thinking, it's an anime, how crazy can it be? Well, I freaked the fuck out as Yuno character became more and more developed, and I imagine I would just kill myself if I had a girlfriend like Yuno...

This post isn't really going anywhere, and it's not much of a review of Mirai Nikki either. I don't know whether I'd recommend Mirai Nikki... I personally thought the story was terrible, but overall I liked it. I still can't get over my fascination with Yuno, and that sole character was probably the reason for me to finish watching the series. So uh, if you're up for a bit of horror or you're just looking for a really good character study, watch for Yuno. 

...I really do love her.

Blogging at school

I'm currently blogging at school--- feeling hipster on my iPad, which is like 2kg so it's easy to carry around. I really do love this thing. I feel like it has infinite battery... and now I can definitely understand why people would opt for a tablet even though they already have a laptop. The superior battery life, the lighter weight--- I guess it's because internet access is all we need to keep ourselves entertained these days. It's okay if I don't have 200 gigs of anime stored on my iPad- with internet I can just watch online.

To explain why I am at school on a fine Saturday afternoon, I think we have to go back to the point where I started watching a lot of streams of LoL videos. Well, it really was just the North America League Championship Series, but I liked following it because my best friend kinda got me addicted, as best friends are bound to do. I suspect that is where I blew all our monthly data, but I really don't feel as if I went through 100gigs on my own... I mean, I do the same at home and I don't even go through 30g by myself in a month. I know I'm kinda sharing internet now, but I don't think my room mate downloads that much on peak... so I have no idea what's going on. The fact is, our internet is once again tragically capped, and I'm at school to leech off the free wifi and watch my LoL videos. 

...And I just remembered that I managed to patch my LoL for a 400mb update last night. Still, I didn't think it was that bad... gaaaah, I just have no idea. The fact is, I have to last out the remainder of however long it is until the data limit resets... This is why I miss China- they don't have data caps back there...

I've once again managed to fuck up my sleeping patterns- there was this day where I went completely nocturnal, deciding to sleep in the early afternoon until 8pm and then stayed awake for the entirety of the next day... only sleeping at 4am of the day after... This is why I haven't been blogging--- this one blog a day thing doesn't work when I can't remember when my day starts and ends. My weeks have just felt like a gigantic mesh... I'm trying to finish off work, get everything in place and actually make a conscious effort to go to class.

I'd always thought I was a real try-hard when it came to academics, but eh, apparently not. Slowly I'm beginning to feel that a lot of classes are entirely unnecessary--- and I am just wasting my own money by not attending, it's just that I don't feel as if I'm getting a lot out of it. In fact it turns out I would prefer spending my time sleeping in or slowly eating breakfast at whatever hour I decide to wake...

Ah I need to get out of school. I am learning applicable stuff, but I am just so over things like due dates, assignments and homework. While making a move towards being useful to society, I sometimes wonder whether I'd be having a better time if I followed through with my first "dream job" ever in advertising and marketing, which I wanted to back up with a psychology degree. Right now all I can see is myself being run to the ground by stress, day in day out people wanting to see me, and my dream was to kind of sit in a high up office building drinking tea and casually working away on aoverly priced   and useless laptop (yeah, I mean a mac). I suppose I can get there eventually... but I like I said, my life feels like a waiting game, and my patience is rapidly expiring.

It's nice to know that I will eventually have whatever it is that I want out of this life, as long as I keep waiting. Everything's laid out in a nice little path, and if I were feeling a little bit more rebellious perhaps I'd turn down a different road. The thing is, this path isn't even that bad... Everything I've ever wanted is littered along the way, and it takes so little effort, literally all I have to do is to wait it out and... age.

I wish I could fast forward though.