First Day

So, first day as the youngest grade all over again. God knows how many times I've had that feeling. Just as I was so comfortable with college, too, this hits me. Lectures: let's face it, they're boring as fuck. Some people, no matter how hard they try, are just not very entertaining. I don't think it's about "interactive learning" so much as being "a competent public speaker". Some people, even if they don't do any fancy tricks or whatever, will hold my attention for a lot longer.
...
About 10 minutes in, I'm sitting in the lecture theatre thinking, "man I wanna get out". Then I start questioning myself, "did I make the right decision? Do I even want to be here? Why the fuck am I actually here? Where could I be, if not here?" Then after the sudden impulse to change degrees passes, I calm down for a bit and start thinking, "hey, this isn't so bad" or "I'll definitely like this course".

So yeah, I think I'll most definitely graduate, but it'll be a rocky road. The biggest threat is not going to be exams or work or stress, it'll be my spontaneous mood-swings of "I hate this course" vs "I love this course". It's probably not a healthy mindset, but if I at least love half of it, it should be fine.

The other thing is... I thought people more arrogant than myself were a rare and dying breed (not to boast or anything) but first day in, I can identify myself as "modest" with a conscious guilt-free mind. I look at some of them and I think, "oh geez, aren't you a smartass".

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just used to being around people that I like. But it's a very, very sad realization when you realize that you share nothing in common with people who chose the same course as you. I thought I'd get along so well, because we have one major common interest and we're all here because we want to know the same thing--- but apparently not. Maybe I'm just in that period of time where I don't want to be sociable.

I thought it was a pretty crappy first day, but if I were more positive, I'd say it was alright...

So let's be positive. I had an alright first day.