Ergh, Asian BBQs

Recap:
So last year I went to one of those typical Asian BBQs (with Asians who are family friends of family friends who I don't even know). Then there was this annoying kid, right, who tailed me wherever I went, constantly asking me retarded questions. E.g. DID YOU KNOW THAT I BEAT THE ELITE 4 ON MY NEW POKÉMON GAME AND MY POKÉMON ARE SO AWESOME?

No, no I did not know, and your Pokémon are shit.

That's probably what I replied, because then I ended up getting slapped in the face. Yeah, that's right, slapped in the face. I was pretty mad, and I would've been like "I'LL MURDER YOU", except then I looked at the kid- am I really going to beat up a 9 year old girl, because she slapped me in the face? It didn't hurt, and to be fair I DID call her Pokémon shit...

So yeah being the non-violent person I am, I didn't beat up the kid. Then later on that day I found out that girl wasn't in fact a girl- TRAP! IT WAS A FUCKING TRAP! Aaaaand he wasn't even 9. He was like, year 7, which means he was at least 12. It was a bit too late to rage then, like, I can't suddenly just walk up to him and throw a punch (both our parents were watching)... I had to comfort myself later- HE PROBABLY HAD ASPERGER'S OR SOMETHING.

This year:
SO GUESS WHO I MET TODAY, AT ANOTHER ASIAN BBQ? Yeah, it was the same kid. No, I didn't do anything to him (I believe in non-violent solutions, because I looooove peace). I was sitting on this log, wedged between 2 other trees- and then he decided to join me. After watching him struggle and fail to climb up several times, I decided to forgive him. It was like watching a turtle on its back, trying to flip itself over (I use nice analogies).

Yeah, I have sympathy too *anticipates gasp from the crowd*

Actually, today wasn't so bad. The kid still followed me, and he continued to ask me stupid things, but they were more amusing:

Kid: I don't get "that's what she said" jokes, what does it mean?
Me: How do you expect me to explain sex to a 40 year old virgin?
Kid, indignant: I DO know what sex is!
Me: Well you know the joke already.

-------------

Kid: What does GTFO mean? [Another friend of mine] keeps on saying that to me.
Me: It means "I love you", but it's a more subtle way of expressing it. See if he said "I love you" just like that, you might've been scared off, that's why he says GTFO instead.
*Kid looks at me with doubt*
Me: No really, you should try it. Girls dig subtlety with acronyms.

-------------

Kid: Hey, do you know what a "Barrel Roll" is?
Me: Uhhhhh.... Internet meme?
Kid: NO IT ISN'T! IT'S A MOVE IN STAR FOX!
Me: ...

I bet you wish you could barrel-roll, when you fell off that log you so desperately tried to climb.

No, my day wasn't so bad after all. You guys might be surprised, "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN LET HIM FOLLOW YOU AROUND", but looking after other people's kids (even if they have Asperger's) is just something you gotta do at an Asian BBQ.

Oh yeah, there was an ice-cream truck that came around! I was so surprised, because we were in the middle of nowhere (ergh, south Canberra--- or rather, ergh, Canberra), but IT WAS A LEGIT ICE-CREAM TRUCK! Had the Fur Elise playing and all that. I got a lemon gelato. It was too sour.

When I asked for a lemon gelato I expected lemon flavoring and sugar... NOT SOMETHING MADE WITH LEGIT LEMONS. Or maybe it wasn't legit lemon. Maybe it was just too sour because--- no, I don't even want to know. Anyway, it was too sour and then too bitter and then I regretted it--- but it came from an ice-cream truck, so at least it was an important life experience?

Yup, today's been sooooo fun-

...Oh who am I kidding, I WISH I'D JUST STAYED AT HOME AND PLAYED GAMES INSTEAD.