Sunday, 19 February 2017

Church is terrible for picking up guys

I don't know why it took me so long to realize, but going to church to try and pick up guys is a TERRIBLE idea. Desperation must wire my mind in strange ways. Like I don't believe in God and it wasn't going to work out anyway, and it's not like I find the fact that someone is Christian terribly attractive. Unless we're talking about my fucked up fantasy where I'm nailing someone on an altar like "hey you're so lascivious right now, do you think your God is watching" and it'd feel like I'm desecrating God ---- yeah alright I should stop.

I don't know why, after sitting there being reminded that "homosexuality is a grave sin", it didn't immediately dawn on me that every guy there must either be straight or severely repressed. I mean I'd like to dream that I could fuck someone so hard that they went gay after, but that's really not how it works, despite popular belief that any violation of your butthole makes you homosexual. Like, what if your were really constipated and your asshole had to accommodate for a long, hard, shit. It might even tear you an anal fissure on its way out--- I studied like six weeks of colorectal surgery, anal fissures are real, man. Remember kids, high-fibre diet and drink lots of water.

This has derailed a little but I wasn't that serious anyway. Idk what the fuck I was thinking.

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