Alright so I played another run of Mystic Messenger, the otome mobile dating sim. This time I made it through the whole way and I'm positive I've reached a good ending, mostly because I ended up using a walkthrough. I can't handle this shit otherwise.
I played through the route of "Zen", a character who is canonically good looking, but has like, nothing else going for him. He's the kind who'd I'd admire as eye-candy, but would despise if I ever knew his personality. His occupation? Actor. But he's not that famous yet and not that rich either. Really, he has one of the shittiest personalities in the game, on par with that little bitch Yoosung who dumped my ass on my first attempt to play the game.
Narcissism exists in every one of us, but it characterizes Zen. He won't shut up about how good-looking he is, and my character, Alice, has to keep affirming that "yes how can there be someone as handsome as you" and "it's not just your looks, you also work very hard". Like, even if someone was THAT good looking, there's no cause for me to say something like that when they're already so full of themselves. He's also so... STUPID. Like, how do you live with someone THAT dumb? You know how in movies and stuff you always get girls who look pretty but they're really stupid, and they'll probably end up as the trophy wife of some rich old dude? Welp, Zen is one of those "girls", but he ends up with my character Alice instead, and I'm like "wow Alice you shallow dumbass you guys deserve each other".
Seriously playing this game is killing me on the inside. I mean Zen calls me and says really sweet stuff like "I love you I just want to be next to you, you look so cute I can't control the beast in me" but that just made me go O______________O "wow fuck this kid I feel sexually harassed". It's weird because the game assumes you're in love with the character whose route you're on, but the whole premise of the game is like, "you only have 11 days", and I'm all "we haven't even had our first date and you're putting out. Damn son, you're cheaper than dinner".
Another thing I really hated was related to the character whose route I ACTUALLY want to play, Han Jumin. Apparently his character isn't interested in girls, since he's cold and robotic and whatever. That's fine, I'm sure the attractive part is when he falls for the player, because "she's not like the other girls, she's special". But while I'm on Zen's route, Han Jumin is still cold and detached, so other characters tease him about being gay. I guess it was meant to be humorous, like "hahah what are you gay or something" but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
Like a good friend of mine used to always make jokes like that, about being gay. He's actually a really nice person IRL, and would never want to insult someone for his sexuality, but he doesn't realize making those jokes is reaaaaaaally homophobic. Being homophobic doesn't mean you walk around thumping gay people with a Bible in your hand, it's based on the assumption that being gay is subnormal and something outrageous enough to be ridiculed. Asking things like, "oh what are you gay or something" speaks in a way that sounds ridiculously confrontational and threatening, and really not as funny as it is portrayed to be.
Or maybe I'm just ridiculously sensitive because I'm maladjusted, but I can rightly say that I'm mildly offended by comments made in a game, right???
I guess that's the way homosexuality is seen in Eastern cultures, right now. Nobody is overtly hostile, but they still talk and judge behind closed doors, and it's suffocating in a different kind of way. I thought it's really ironic, that something that is part of your identity, well, MY identity, would be called "sick" and "disgusting" and "unnatural", when it is literally who I am. But when I'm legit sick, rolling in bed from the pain in my body, or wanting to rip my own organs out as I'm filled with self-hatred and disgust, nobody really believes that I'm sick, since that is merely part of my "condition" and "personality".
Why are people fucked enough to believe, that being miserable is part of my "personality"? It's like, I'm an unhappy person, therefore I must WANT to be unhappy, because otherwise I'd CHOOSE to be happy instead. ????Best advice ever given to a depressed person? From "why don't you stop being depressed" to "have you tried being happier instead". Like if I snapped by femur in half I'd kill someone who asked "why don't you stop being crippled" or "have you tried not breaking your bones". I'd murder them with the half of my femur that I'd snapped.
Ahhh this has gone into a massive off-topic rant, inspired by a stupid female-oriented mobile dating sim, because I'm too lonely IRL and too pathetic to make time to meet real people. Or maybe I just like otome games??? I can't decide, this is the first one I've played, and I'm already being so harsh on it. Let me play Han Jumin's route though, I'll make at least one more post on Mystic Messenger, "conquering" the character I ACTUALLY wanted to play for in the first place. I'll tell you of my final opinions of the game then.
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