Strife

Day 20, my friend is still pissed off at me.

Well, I don't actually know if it's day 20, I haven't been counting carefully. If I had to estimate it though, 20 would be my guess.

Why is she mad at me? Oh I have a few hypotheses. It's either because of the ugly sequelae following that exam she failed, or because I told her to date this guy she doesn't actually like. I'm not sure which one she's more pissed off at, but it's pretty awkward for me right now.

Sometimes I don't think things are a big deal, but it turns out they mean a lot to other people, and the "inconsequential" things I do probably end up hurting peoples' feelings. I don't even realize it at the time, then when I respond it's more "wow that is so fucking trivial, are you seriously angry at me over this" as opposed to just "sorry". It's a terrible way to react, I know.

I'm actually just a shitty person sometimes.

Then the telling her to date a guy she doesn't like thing--- well, I realized this guy liked her, and I thought he was a pretty cool guy! So I was like, why don't you give him a chance (to her) and she got really pissed off. I think it's probably because I keep on making these peer-pressure comments that she gets so irritated. I've since learnt better and I swear to God I will never make the same mistake in the future. Moral of the story kids, NEVER say to someone "you should go out with X or Y" or "you'd make a cute couple" or w/e ---- the comments seem harmless enough but apparently they're really fucking annoying and you could just piss someone off in the process. When you think about it, there's nothing to be gained from your friend either dating or not-dating someone, in fact when they DO date, you'd probs hear all about the drama and then it's just not worth.

Though she is now best friends with the guy that likes her, so I guess that worked out. Or did it? Because she's defs still pissed off at me.

Not overtly pissed--- more like, withdrawn mood, avoidance, and denial of eye contact. It could be depression. I get the feeling that she just wants to be left alone though, so I might just leave it and see if she gets over it. I asked her if she was sad the other day, and she seemed to take offense--- that doesn't mean she's not sad, btw, she's just offended I think she's sad. Women are so complicated, I swear.

No that was a lie too, they're not complicated. I just worked out why she's pissed, so there's nothing complicated about it. I probs just need to man up and apologize for hurting her feelings. She's avoiding me as much as she can though so idk how it's going to go through. I'll do my best.

I hate taking responsibility for the shitty things I do.