Saturday, 20 December 2014

I've Been Losing Sleep

I felt like I haven't slept properly for a while. I went out to see "Horrible Bosses" a few days ago with someone who I'm not sure I like. I mean, I guess I used to like her but sometimes I feel like she only hangs out with me because she thinks I might be useful to her in the future. There's not much to talk about between us and I think we only knew each other because I was really keen on showing off how to solve certain maths problems.

The movie was good, yeah. As good as the first one, but I wouldn't say it was better or worse. I enjoyed it myself. I don't regret going but I think I regret who I went with. Some people you try desperately and you give everything you have so they'd stay in your life, but other people I don't think I'd miss. In fact there are some people you just don't need at all, and they're better off gone than anything else.

I don't think I'm in another one of my depressive moods, but I can't explain why I've been sleeping so poorly. Compared to my usual 4am holiday sleep schedule, I actually sleep at around 10pm now so I can wake up and go to work. Yeah, I'm working a lot, but I get paid a fair amount and I like that I have the freedom to spend. There's no real hesitation of "ohhh, should I get that or should I walk around for 2 hours trying to find something cheaper"- I basically look up what I want, see that I can afford it with my savings, and then I go purchase it. Not that I have a lot of time to enjoy what I spend my money on, but that's the trade-off. It's ok in the end.

What's been bothering me though- it's these shitty dreams I keep on having. Sometimes when I'm dreaming I can tell I'm in a dream and it's kind of fun because I can give myself super-powers, but the kind of dreams I've been having recently are the literal worst. I can't tell dream from reality and when I wake up in the morning it takes me a moment to realize I was in a dream- it doesn't actually feel that way though, it just feels like I've moved to a different dimension where everything is actually kind of ok and everybody is still alive and happy. Idk, the quality of my sleep has just been dreadful.

So yeah the net effect is that I'm really tired and really grumpy all the time. Plus the whole capped internet thing means there's not much else I can use my new laptop for, which is a bummer. I want to play music instead but I got braces so I can't really play flute any more and I never got around to buying that keyboard I was thinking about getting for various reasons. I'm thinking of getting my mother an iPad for Christmas- so she'll either be really happy or be really grumpy that I "wasted' a shitload of money. I mean I'll throw away the receipt and all that but idk. I hope she just takes the present instead of getting angry at me for spending my money on buying her a present. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if she did but I just hope it doesn't happen.

Idk what Christmas is going to be like this year. I've only had like, one decent Christmas in my entire life (and it was like, last year or the year before... or something). That one day where nobody did anything offensive or said anything to piss me off. I just want that again this year. I think it'd be great if everybody could just not fight for one day. I don't need a sunshine beach side holiday- it'd be nice if people could just be friendly and stuff.

Anyway I'm super tired and I can barely keep myself awake. Night.

Monday, 15 December 2014

Pokemon and other aspects of life

My internet is capped again. Yeah, I write that line waaay too often. Why don't we switch to a new plan, you ask? Well, because I'm not paying for it and the person who is paying happens to be obsessed with having the fastest internet possible for all of 10 days (we're capped for the other 20). Fun stuff, right?

Anyway I've been playing Pokemon in my off time. I bought Pokemon omega ruby- I'm working again and with the pay raise this year I think I'll barely make back the money I splurged on the new laptop and whatever Christmas spending I want to do. +0 to the savings account though. But yeah Pokemon. It's a remake of the original ruby version- and tbh a remake is really just a remake- super underwhelming. I don't really understand why I keep buying these Pokemon games- probably because I have the money now- but I lost interest in Pokemon back when Heart Gold and Soul Silver were released. Black and White gave it a new breath of life but then I just got bored again. Sure Pokemon X was really fun (the graphics were amazing) but the game mechanics remained the same and I just didn't enjoy grooming my Pokemon or feeding them or whatever. I guess it's true that you do grow out of things. I never thought I'd have a problem with grinding for levels or doing repetitive tasks- but the truth is, I hate Pokemon battling and I get so bored so quickly.

Not that I've never enjoyed a remake though. I bought the TWEWY remake on iOS and that was worth every dollar I paid. Yes the game was essentially the same- they changed the combat system obviously, since it was a port from DS to iPad- but it was still immensely fun and I still loved the story. I think the only difference was that I finished the game waaaay too quickly and I didn't do a lot of the end-game-content. I might never get to that, actually, but yeah I don't regret the time I invested in that remake.

One remake I'm looking forward to is Devil Survivor 2. It's easily one of my favorite games- news of a remake has been out for ages, but it got delayed for like 2 years and it's finally gonna be out in Japan next year in January. I'm not sure if there's going to be an English version though. What I find totally stupid about gaming consoles these days is the whole "region lock" factor. Like, why the fuck won't you let me play US games. If you want me to buy local games YOU SHOULD FUCKING RELEASE THAT GAME FOR THE PAL REGION. Like goddammit I hate it when only US gets a release. Like, I CAN READ THAT LANGUAGE- JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING GAME.

At least for the future I'll know- if they ever release a 4DS or whatever the fuck- I'm going to buy the US version. I'll go order myself one off ebay and pay whatever taxes plus shipping. I bet I'd save a shitload of money on games in the future anyway. Like, US games are so much cheaper (for the same thing) and I have no idea why. I think as Australians we're just accustomed to paying more for less. No wonder Apple thrives in this country.

Oh yeah there's this siege thing going on in Sydney CBD, where hostages are being held in a Lindt Cafe. I feel so bad for the people there, and I also feel bad for the Muslim community that's getting attacked (because some people bigoted assholes). It's kinda been all over the news and I hope people come out alright. I didn't think something like this would happen in Australia, but I guess if it were to happen it WOULD be Sydney CBD- where else are you gonna get all dat media coverage and attention? But yeah I wish they could rescue more people but apparently the guy has a gun. I'd probably shit myself if I showed up to work and then got held at gunpoint all day. The whole event is just a massive atrocity.

I guess all we can do is hope that it works out in the end.

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Dat Social Lyf

I was feeling really depressed a while back so I decided to spice up my social life lately. While people are always leaving there are always people around to replace those who left, and just because people leave don't mean they don't come back into your life again.

Anyway I went out to karaoke with a bunch of girls- this was after work and I was exhausted, but work kinda sucks and I missed my friends so I made it. I found out that everyone there kind of broke up with their boyfriends recently- and I thought to myself, "huh, I'm not the only one who's depressed in this world, eh?" I guess the benefit to being alone is that there's no one to break up with.

After a rather strange karaoke where people sang a lot of sad and angsty songs, I went to yum cha the next day. It was a Sunday so not many places were open, and the place we went to was the shits. The food was mediocre, the variety was bad and I didn't like it at all. It's a shame I had work basically every other day, otherwise we could've gone somewhere else. I somehow ended up playing board games at a gaming bar afterwards, and tried drinks named "Falcon Punch" and "Blood of a Noob". Weirdass names, but the drinks tasted alright- well, they tasted like fruit juice, really.

Later on ended up at a friend of a friend's house later- then before I knew it the time was like 9pm and I had eaten way too much pizza and KFC. I was learning to play the Game of Thrones board game- and learning how to play is like giving yourself cancer. There were so many rules and they were all hard to remember- then there was just a stupid amount of intricacies involved. I guess the game could be fun... but finishing one game of it took us til 1am... I remember getting to the friend-of-a-friend's house at like... 4pm? It was a long night, and I don't think I like the game enough to want to play it for hours on end.

I got home way late and basically crashed into bed. Then I had to force myself awake in the morning because I made an appointment with the orthodontist. I'm quite happy with my current orthodontist- the old one I had I wasn't really happy with. I awkwardly double booked myself with both of them- the difference was I remembered one appointment and not the other- and so today I got an invoice of $160 for a missed appointment. I don't plan on paying it though- I think my old orthodontist is just having a go at me for having missed his appointment. I guess it's my fault but I made the appointment months back and got zero reminders about it. Like, sure they sent me emails but it all went into my junk mail folder so I just forgot about it completely. I assumed they'd text or call me or something when I didn't confirm my appointment, but instead it was more just- "here, have a massive bill".

Assholes.

But basically what that means is I have braces on- they cost a lot of money and life really sucks right now because I'm in extraordinary amounts of pain. This hurts way more than getting my wisdom teeth pulled out. At least when I had wisdom teeth out I lost all my appetite due to going under anaesthesia- this one's just like... my teeth hurts, my jaw aches, I can't chew properly but I'm so, so hungry. I'm miserable right now. I also have this bite plate thingy- and every time I wear it I feel the metal lodge into my teeth and it hurts like a bitch.

The orthodontist recommended some over-the-counter pain relief, and I'm feeding myself prescription level of drugs but it's not really helping. Internet says the pain will go away in a week, when I get used to it... but tbh idk how people get used to this shit. The wires are grazing my mouth and I think I can taste blood- this is absolutely miserable. I also can't talk properly, it's terrible.

Life is balls right now.