School Again

First day of school already- yeyeyeye. The journey back was tiring, as usual, but I entertained myself with my phone and a book. I finally finished reading George Orwell's 1984- and I finally understand why people praise it so highly. It is legitimately one of the best things I've ever read- philosophically inspiring with a strange twist along the way. I understood the blatant political references right away- but there were so many goddamn layers to the story and everything was so much deeper than I expected.

One of the things that got me was the idea of "Big Brother". As I read along, I merely thought "Big Brother" was a reference to Stalin- a simple, one-dimensional reference. Then the major plot twist in the later chapters shattered the majority of my assumptions about the novel- and I realized "Big Brother" was the representation of the political ideology; it was also the meaning of life itself- the raison d'etre.  Then I felt kind of ashamed that I didn't think about everything hard enough as I read, and only took things at face-value. At the same time I marvelled at Orwell's genius- not every author can write something which makes me think so hard and so much. Overall I wouldn't say the novel was very entertaining- it wasn't the sort of adventurous fantasy I enjoyed- but it's something you read for self-improvement as opposed to entertainment.

Anyway- my first day at school. We had a feedback session on the exams we did last term- all I drew from that was that I performed terribly. But hey, I don't care, I passed. Over the hour of feedback we had, I realized how many I've answered incorrectly, and I felt very sad about it. Of course I wish I did better- and this semester I'm going to try harder- but a lot of effort is required and it sucks that I have to think about this on my first day back. The more positive thing about today was how I realized I had friends at school after all, and we sat next to each other and conversed, and talked about working on a group assignment together.

I don't think this semester will be the worst semester yet.