Mid Winter

It's surprising how fast time passes you by when you get into rhythm. I've spent another few weeks at work, getting into rhythm. Night shifts weren't nearly as bad as I thought they would be, though later on there were some shifts that made me want to cry with stress. I think the hardest part was coming to terms with the fact that I was only one person, and even if I had the answers to all these questions, I couldn't possibly be there for everyone.... well, not on time.

Over my time at work I've learnt a few cool things... well mostly I've learnt how to draw blood with various needles. Not sure it'd become a cool party trick, but if I want to start using intravenous drugs in the future I know how to find all my veins. Whew that was a lame joke. Drugs are bad and I don't approve. Unless you've got no one in your life that you could hurt. Then it's like, whatever man.

Imagine living a life where there was no one you could hurt though. Meaning, nobody cares about you enough to be hurt by your self-sabotage. Is that why they preach "love yourself", because nobody else loves you?

I think I've been awake for longer than I'd like to. I should sleep, I have an early-ish flight to catch tomorrow. I'm going to Melbourne for a bit of a holiday. I haven't been in a few years... and I regret that I always seem to travel there in mid winter, but that's where my breaks are consistently. It'll be nice, I think, seeing some old friends, or just loitering around the city in general. I suspect I'll just eat a lot and spend on a lot of money... but that's fine too. I just want to have a good time.

I don't have wise words to part with or anything... I feel like my time is poorly spent between sleep and work and occasional food. There's not much room for self-improvement, really. Time I otherwise spend with my new friends I made from work. They are some wonderful people, and I am so glad to have met them. I do wish I practised piano some more or drew more on my fancy new tablet. I have all these pretty and expensive toys but I have no one to play with... it's kind of lonely.

I'll be fine though. Let me sleep and give me a break, I'll bounce back in no time.