I haven't blogged for at least 2 weeks because I went away to a rural town for work experience. It was actually really interesting, and REALLY rewarding. I obviously learnt a lot of practical skills, and got a lot of a hands-on experience, but at the same time I think I learnt a lot about people and their motivations and I got a better understanding about this career path I chose.
The first thing to mention, I guess, is how DIFFERENT people are, despite being in largely the same profession. People keep on telling me that you gotta have drive to do medicine, that you're something special and there's something in your personality that drives you towards this career. As far as I'm concerned, right, all you need is asshole Asian-parents and very few viable options out of life. I think you can call me a coward in the end- I could've up and left on my own, worked 4 days a week part-time, trying to make rent, trying to study the degree I want, get high marks and make life work for me. There's always choices to make, and I made a decision that I didn't want to be stuck in a reality where I was stressed for money and stressed about finding a place in the world. Right now that place is carved out and cushioned for me- I just fill in when I'm ready and I'll live really comfortably.
I'm not the sort of person who can sacrifice a comfortable life for a murky dream I might never achieve.
So the first impressionable person I met said to me, "you're abnormal, because you're gonna be one of those few people who's going to be in control of their lives. You're not going to be a slave to bills and mundane work- you're going to do well for yourself." I would like to believe his statement, but I'm not sure it's going to go down quite so smoothly. However, this person is someone I truly respect, because of his world experience, and how reasonable and logical he sounded when he explained things to me. He let me understand that it's a balance between personal interest and the interest of the public. If you want to look after other people, then first you gotta look after yourself. It comes down to business, in the end- and I'm not sure I quite agree with him on the idea that healthcare is a business- but truly, we're operating on something very close to a business model.
From a moral perspective, it is my belief that everyone, rich or poor, should have access to healthcare. People like to ask me stupid questions like, if a man murdered the person you loved, and then you could choose to save that man's life or let him be, what would you do? The realist answer is, I'd probably want to kill whoever murdered the person I loved, but I'm not sure I would do it myself. I may or may not be able to fulfill professional responsibilities, because I imagine I'd be really pissed and wouldn't be able to provide adequate care anyway. That doesn't detract from my original statement, where I think everyone should have equal access to healthcare though. In fact to me it's two different matters entirely and the relevance is minimal. Anyway, that belief forms a fundamental part of who I am, and as such I'm quite uncomfortable with the idea of monetizing the healthcare system.
Then we get to the tougher questions? Would I want to become a doctor if it weren't for the money? Actually, I didn't want to become a doctor in the first place, so maybe the obvious answer is "no". But wait, hold on, my parents would've never wanted me to be a doctor if they didn't make money--- so perhaps without the external intervention, I would've, by chance, grown to love the profession. I guess we'll never know now- but the truth is, I'd never want to work for free. I don't mean I'd let people die if they couldn't pay, and I don't mean I wouldn't help people who needed help, but "work" is something entirely different from volunteering, right. When I "work", I expect to get paid, and when I work in an area where I believe money shouldn't influence the service, it becomes really weird and confusing. Am I opposed to or am I supportive of the idea, after all?
Okay I guess this post dragged on for longer than I expected... I'll continue the rest of the story in a diff post, since I'm pretty much falling asleep right now. It's been a long week.
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