I can't believe the year's almost over.
I think I've always wanted to be at this point in my life... a point where I'm comfortable with work and I don't have to wake in fear of everything that's about to occur.
The other disgusting thing about growing up though, is having to pay for all the adult things like utilities, health insurance, car insurance/petrol/registration/service, groceries.... the list goes on.
I try very hard to save but a lot of the time I just want to have fun. I went to see The Book of Mormon the other day... and I was saying how nice it was, to actually have a job, that I can afford to see shows when I want to. Just then I purchased tickets to see Li Yundi at the Sydney Opera House. It's something I've always wanted to do, growing up... that is, listening to music at the Opera House. I wanted the guise of sophistication, but it feels weird knowing that I genuinely want to go there for the sake of listening to Chopin and not for impressing anyone else.
....My hobbies are expensive to indulge in though. I guess art/music traditionally are associated with sophistication and upper class elegance because only rich people have the time and resources to explore these things. Not that people without money are barred from it (artists are broke as hell, right), it's just that they can't have it as a "hobby", it's more a "paint or starve" deal- which sounds awful.
The Book of Mormon was hilarious- I'd recommend it to anyone. I saw it with my friends and it was delightful. It was a shame I couldn't hang out with them for longer afterwards... I was committed to finishing my work for the day. I did make the deadline in the end- it was just absolutely exhausting. Every time I load something outside work onto my plate I think "my God that was a mistake", because work is draining. Except when I recall these events with my 20/20 retrospective vision I think "it wasn't so bad after all" and "I AM glad I did that". It's easy to live in the present where your past self has suffered and paid the price, versus sacrificing your present happiness for a future self you are not quite sure exists.
Anyway I'm stuck in a crapshoot situation where I don't really want to work any more than I already am (5/7 days a week) but I really, really do need more money from SOMEWHERE. My only options are these weekend shifts but my weekends are already so precious to me I am loathe to be without it. I don't think I sleep enough for my own wellbeing, and I really should get the doctor to check my vitamin D levels because I swear I haven't had enough sun on my skin.
Despite juggling a couple of things I don't think I'm falling apart at the seams. I have the most wonderful friends, and it's been so fun. I don't know if we'll ever get as close as I did as my high school friends- there's something special about growing up together... but I think it's safe to say this year's been the happiest year of my life since 2004.
If the fun never ends, I don't mind haemorrhaging money after all.
