I took a holiday in Melbourne. It was cold and miserable and I realised I didn't even like it much. Sure there was food and there was shopping, but I buy all my things online it made almost no difference. Besides I visited Japan earlier this year and I felt like I could have bought anything I wanted in the world in Tokyo (or probably Akihabara alone...) The only good thing about Melb was seeing my friend who I had not seen in a good five years. She took me to some interesting places... and I experienced VR for the first time. It was actually very trippy how immersive it was... I fully look forward to the day where we play VR games (and we create a massive social dilemma where everyone prefers VR to real life).
Then I came back from my holiday and realised I caught a cold. So I cancelled my plans to see my parents (well, not that I wanted to see them anyway) and slept in until I felt less like a sick dog. I met up with more friends who I had not seen in ages and it was all very good fun. I like it where the weather is warm, and despite me being a great Anglophile I don't think I'd tolerate British weather if I can't even stand Melbourne. Afterwards I was all better, and so I dove straight back into work.
It was like I never fucking left. I thought it'd be a bit foreign, that things would be unfamiliar or...something. Nup. It was the same old shit, and I realised I get sympathy-fatigue very fast. It's sort of alarming when I realise that about myself. I don't like, have trouble connecting to people, but I'm not very good at feeling what I think I'm supposed to feel. I personally think it's a good thing, but I feel if other people knew about my "superpowers" they'd just call me a psychopath. I reckon if I was actually the sensitive kind I'd have quit in like a month, but since I'm closer to stone cold maybe that's not a good thing either. People generally prefer something warmer... at least I look harmless enough on the outside.
Work does wear me out though. I deny feeling tired (I make sure I get adequate sleep because I don't want to make mistakes like that) but my co-wokers have noticed. Actually my friend said I looked like an asshole after Mardi Gras. I was hoping he meant "well-loved and full of glitter" but he clarified by saying I looked like I'd been thoroughly fucked and entirely prolapsed. Thanks for the compliment matey.
It's a fine balance, my sleep and my work and everything else I love to do. Oh, then there's chores and study to slot in somewhere. I've been negligent about studying lately. In a way I miss my uni days, where ALL I had to do was fucking, study all day (and I didn't even do that). I now realise that was a complete luxury, but let's face it, I was poor and lonely and bored and I fucking hated what I was studying half the time. So I'll just push forward with the worklife and we'll get there when we get there............
